Just Another Week in the Lives of Mutants
by Red Witch
Summary: Sequel to 'Birthday Party'. What happens after Rogue's Birthday? A week filled with mayhem, fighting, romance, prejudice, dimension traveling, long lost relatives, lawsuits and plenty of insanity! R&R the completed fic!
1. Another Pleasant Bayville Sunday

**I don't own anything. No X-Men or GI Joe characters or… well anything that can make me any money. This fic takes up right after 'My Big Fat Mutant Birthday Party'. The day after to be precise. It's just another random mad multi-chapter fic with several plot lines that don't really go anywhere but I'm writing for the sake of my amusement. So if you are looking for something deep and meaningful boy are you in the wrong place! If you are looking for a not so typical week of mutant madness where things happen and people go crazy, you're in the perfect spot. **

**Just Another Week in the Lives of Mutants**

**Chapter 1: Another Pleasant Bayville Sunday**

"My head…" Xavier groaned as he opened his eyes. 

"You're awake," Ororo stood over him. "How are you feeling?"

"Like someone ran over my head with a tractor several times," Xavier gingerly felt the bandage on his head. 

"It's not serious," Ororo told him. "Hank checked you over. All it did was knock you out for the evening."

"What time is it?"

"A little after eleven am," She said.

"I missed the party?" Xavier asked.

"Trust me, you were lucky," Ororo groaned. 

"Where's Rogue?" Xavier winced as he sat up.

"Out with Logan looking at motorcycles," Ororo told him.

"Oh no…" Xavier sighed. "All right what happened?" 

"Well for starters, Irene was really Mystique," Ororo told him. "Fortunately thanks to Xi and Shipwreck she didn't get a chance to cause any damage other than hurting Rogue's feelings." 

"Her shapeshifting abilities are really incredible," Xavier groaned. "I take it she got away?"

"Unfortunately, but that wasn't the worst of it," Ororo said.

"What happened?" Xavier asked dreading the news.

"Well the football players spiked the punch and Jean got drunk, which caused some fights and damage," Ororo sighed. "The Misfits of course did their share of causing mayhem and tried to steal our silverware. Lockheed got loose. Ms. March the school chaperone ended up having to leave town because…"

"Never mind!" Xavier held up his hand. "I don't want to know!" He managed to get into his wheelchair. "So I take it the students are cleaning up after last night?" 

"Got it in one," Hank walked in. "We all decided that Rogue would not be allowed to do any of the cleaning up. We figured it was the least we could do after last night's debacle. I take it Storm has informed you of Mystique's latest treachery?" 

"Yes," Xavier frowned. "What happened to Irene?"

"We don't know and apparently neither does Mystique," Hank sighed. "She's looking for her as well as Magneto." 

"No doubt to use her to supply her with more information about the future," Xavier sighed as he wheeled down the hall. "Maybe…" 

He stopped when he saw something out the window. "What the devil is that in that tree out there?" He asked.

"Oh that's just Duncan," Hank waved. "He was the one who spiked the punch." 

"He was out there all night?" Xavier gasped. 

"I believe so," Hank nodded. "Lockheed kept him company. They've become such good friends." 

"Oh god…" Xavier put his head in his hand. "Somebody rescue him and get him down please?" 

"Yeah I'll go tell Tabitha…" Hank started to say.

"Not her!" Xavier said. 

"Well maybe Jean should…" Ororo started to say something when she caught sight of something. "Oh my…" 

Jean was staggering around with a cup of coffee in her hand. "Will somebody please stop that ringing?" She groaned. Her eyes were heavily bagged and her hair looked like it hadn't been combed in months.

"Jean are you all right?" Xavier asked.

"I'd feel a lot better if that stupid ringing would stop," Jean groaned. "And my stomach would stop churning and my skin would stop feeling like it's trying to crawl off my skin." 

"My dear you are currently experiencing your first hangover," Hank shook his head.

"I am going to kill Duncan for spiking that punch," Jean said. "Slowly and painfully…Oh god…oh my god! I'm remembering what happened last night! Oh god! What did I do?" 

"What didn't you do?" Kitty asked as she walked up. 

"Oh god no…" Jean became pale. "Kitty I am so sorry…"

"I take it you're remembering what you said to me last night," She folded her arms. "What you said to Rogue…"

"Oh god…" Jean moaned.

"You singing and dancing on the table and using your powers to have things fly around the room…"

"Oh god…" 

"Throwing up on the cheerleaders," Kitty smiled, clearly enjoying herself.

"Oh god…" 

"The things you said and did to Scott…"

"Oh god…" Jean's face was getting redder and redder. "I can't believe I did that!" 

"That's enough Kitty," Xavier told her. "You don't have to go into detail."

"You're right. All I have to do is show her the video from last night. The Misfits got some good shots of you flying around in your underwear," Kitty grinned. 

"Excuse me now I'm gonna go crawl into a hole and die," Jean groaned as she staggered away. 

"I think I'll help her," Kitty said in a very perky voice and went off after her.

"Kitty!" Xavier called out but she ignored him.

"Never mind Charles," Ororo sighed. "Let's just say Jean was not herself last night."

"Obviously," Xavier groaned. "She was flying around in her underwear?" 

"Oh yeah," Hank sighed. "I'll show you the video later. The Misfits made sure we'd have plenty of copies. Well at the very least the children got a good lesson on the evils of alcohol." 

"This is all my fault," Xavier sighed as he looked at the damage. "I never should have allowed this to happen."

"Well I'm the one who came up with the brilliant idea so I'm partially responsible too," Ororo sighed. 

"Yeah you were," Hank said.

"Hey!" Ororo growled at him. 

"Let me guess," Xavier looked at the food splattering the walls. "Food fight?" 

"Uh huh," Hank sighed. "Well at least the kids didn't use their powers when they chased the Bayville High students away." 

"Chased them away?" Xavier gasped. 

"They weren't exactly the perfect guests," Ororo explained. 

"BOBBY DRAKE I AM GOING TO BURN YOU TO ASHES!" Amara's voice came like a sonic blast through the halls. 

"AFTER I BLOW HIM UP TO BITS!" Tabitha screamed. "WHERE ARE YOU YA BUM?" 

Bobby was running for his life laughing. He collided with Hank. "Uh…Hi there Mr. McCoy!" He waved feebly. "Gotta run!" 

"Not so fast young Mr. Drake," Hank grabbed him by the collar when he tried to make a break for it. 

"Hold him!" Tabitha shouted as she and Amara rounded the corner. 

"You are so dead!" Amara snapped.

"Chill out, it was just a joke," Bobby held up his hands in defense. "Have a sense of humor about it!"

"You wanna know what I'd find funny right about now?" Tabitha growled. "Your head on a plate! That would be hilarious!" 

"I can arrange that!" Amara growled.

"Girls! What happened?" Ororo asked. "Tell us."

"Better than that, we'll show you!" Tabitha growled. "Follow us! Look what he did to the girl's bathroom!" 

They followed the girls to the bathroom dragging Bobby with them. "We went to use the bathroom and we found this!" Tabitha snapped pointing to the inside. The entire bathroom was covered in ice from the ceiling to the floor. "Even the john's frozen solid!" She snapped.

"Bobby…" Ororo glared at him.

"It was a joke!" Bobby held up his hands. "Besides all Magma has to do is melt it? What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that this is another mess for us to clean up!" Amara shouted. 

"He even froze up the pads and tampons!" Tabitha pointed to the cabinet.

"He what?" Ororo's eyes burned with fury. "Girls you have my permission to kill him."

"Run boy run!" Hank let Bobby go. 

Bobby tried to get away but the girls tackled him and started beating him up. "What's going on?" Roberto asked as several students showed up to see what the fight was all about. "What'd he do?"

"A word from the wise young Roberto," Hank sighed. "Never…ever mess with a woman's feminine hygiene products." 

"HELP ME!" Bobby screamed.

"Better you than me pal," Ray whistled. 

"Shouldn't we stop this?" Xavier asked.

"I'm not going near them," Hank said. 

"Depends on how much blood he spills," Ororo growled.

"Let me guess, that time of the month?" Hank asked.

"Let me guess, you have a death wish?" Ororo balled her hands into fists and growled at Hank. 

"Will somebody please answer the stupid door?" Jean moaned. "I can't take the sound of that doorbell ringing anymore!" 

"All right," Xavier put his head in his hands. "Hank, get me that video. I have got to see for myself what happened last night!" 

************************************************************************

That afternoon Xavier decided to have a little meeting with the teaching staff. Logan had returned with Rogue and they had picked out a nice shiny new Harley. "Well Chuck you missed a hell of a party last night," Logan snickered. 

"So I hear," Xavier sighed. "Now we have to deal with the consequences." 

"Consequences?" Logan asked. "For what?"

"For what?" Xavier's voice rose. "Didn't you see how the children behaved?"

"We were there Charles remember?" Logan raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes and thanks to Forge I wasn't," Xavier said. "But what I could see on the video they were not on their best behavior."

"Video?" Logan raised an eyebrow. "Uh…you saw everything on video?" 

"I didn't see all of what happened last night," Xavier said. "In fact that video tape looked like it was edited."

"Yeah how about that?" Hank whistled. 

"You know Charles last night wasn't really the kids' fault," Logan said. "I mean take Forge for example. He didn't mean to knock you out. He was just excited and didn't realize that that light show should have been outside. It was an honest mistake. You can't really blame the kid for that." 

"Let me get this straight," Xavier looked at Logan. "You…of all people think that Forge and the others don't deserve to be punished?" 

"Punished is such a strong word," Logan said. "I mean sure he and the others will be doing some extra training and clean up but I think they've learned their lesson. I mean these kids immediately owned up to what they did and as we told you it wasn't completely their fault. It was just that circumstances happened beyond anyone's control. I mean, do you really think Jean intended to get drunk? You know her; she doesn't drink at all. She can't be held responsible for someone else's cruel prank. That's like blaming the victim or something. Am right guys?" 

"Who are you and what have you done to Logan?" Xavier asked. 

"What? Can't I be a reasonable guy once in a while?" Logan asked. 

"I am starting to get the feeling there is something that you're all keeping from me," Xavier asked.

"Who us? No! No way Chuck!" The adults spoke at the same time. 

"I promise you Charles none of us are hiding anything of what the children did last night," Hank said. "Am I right?"

"Yeah. Definitely," Ororo and Logan said at the same time. 

"Still," Xavier sighed. "I think it's time we had a serious discussion with the students." Soon the majority of students were in Xavier's office, with the exception of Jean because she was too sick, Scott because he was looking after her and Rogue because everyone agreed she had suffered enough. "Although I understand there were extenuating circumstances, I am still disappointed in your behavior last night and there will be consequences."

"But it wasn't all our fault!" Amara protested. 

"Hey we made a deal!" Forge snapped at Hank. "You guys promised!" 

"Deal?" Xavier looked at the adults. "What deal?" 

"The deal where we don't get in trouble if we don't tell you what the adults were doing the entire time during the party when they were supposed to be chaperoning," Tabitha said. 

"Thanks a lot kids," Hank moaned. 

"Hank shut up," Logan hissed. 

"All the adults were down in the Danger Room playing spin the bottle in their underwear while the party was going on!" Bobby shouted.

"Actually they were playing Truth or Dare," Sam pointed out. 

"Beast and Storm were making out like teenagers," Tabitha said. 

"Kitty and Rogue and Althea caught them doing it!" Jamie shouted. "They were practically naked!" 

"You were **_WHAT?_**" Xavier yelled. 

"It sounds a lot worse than it actually is," Hank gulped. "Really! It wasn't that bad! Actually it was more like Logan's fault than the rest of ours…" 

"Says the guy who was wearing the lipstick," Logan growled. 

"The what?" Xavier was now turning pale. 

"I only put that on because you dared me to!" Hank snapped. 

"You ain't putting the blame on me pal!" Logan snapped. "I ain't the one who locked us in the Danger Room!" 

"No but you were the one who was shirking his chaperone duties so he could have a quick canoodle with a certain female ninja!" Hank defended. 

"I'm not the one who shoved Ms. March Mouth into the laundry chute!" Logan snapped. 

"That was an accident and I dare you to prove otherwise," Hank snapped. 

"Quiet!" Ororo snapped. "You both were behaving like children!"

"US?" Hank glared at her.

"Lady you're one to talk!" Logan snapped. "You weren't exactly hesitant about kissing Beast here in your underwear!" 

"Yes you were just as tipsy as the rest of us!" Hank told her. "And if I recall correctly, during the food fight when the kids were chasing those hooligans from Bayville High out, you were pretty accurate with those cupcakes!" 

"ENOUGH!" Xavier shouted. He was clearly getting a very large migraine. "I do not think that we should be having this discussion in front of the students!" 

"Oh don't mind us! We're enjoying this," Bobby snickered. The adults glared at him. "Definitely the wrong thing to say." 

"I see," Xavier groaned. "So in other words the three of you were just as responsible for what happened last night. Maybe even more!"

"I wouldn't go that far," Hank said.

"I would," Kitty said. 

"YEOW!" There was a loud shout from outside. "WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET THIS DRAGON OFF OF ME?"

"The lizard's still chasing Duncan?" Logan asked. "Wasn't somebody supposed to get him?"

"Oh I must have forgotten," Ororo grinned slightly. "Slipped my mind." 

"Professor," Rogue walked in with a phone. "It's somebody from the school board. They wanna have a talk with you. Something about another lawsuit." 

"It's going to be another one of those long weeks…" Xavier moaned. 

**So what will happen this week? Anything and everything! Here we go again folks! **


	2. Musings and Misfits

**Musings and Misfits**

"I think that's the last of it," Kurt said as he helped carry the last of Rogue's things into her new room. 

"It's gonna be so weird having a room of my own again," Rogue shook her head. "I mean I got so used to living with Kitty."

"I'm just curious," Kurt asked as he put down the box. "Why did you move in with Kitty in the first place?"

"It was either stay with her or Jean," Rogue grinned. 

"I'm serious," Kurt sat down on her bed. "You could have gotten a room of your own if you really wanted to. The mansion's huge! Well even before it blew up…"

"Do you wanna know the real reason?" Rogue asked sitting down. "Don't tell anyone okay?"

"I promise," Kurt said.

"Well," Rogue hesitated. "Remember when I first got here? How I found out our…how Mystique lied to me?"

"Ya." 

"I was just so…" She sighed. "So tired of being lied to and used. I'd never felt so alone in my life and I was just so hurt and desperate. I just wanted to have some kind of closeness ya know? Someone I could really count on. I dunno. Because I needed some kind of security. Sounds stupid right?" 

"Not really no," Kurt shook his head. "We're all a family here Rogue, and not just those of us who are related by blood."

"I know, it's just…" She sighed. 

"Hey guys!" Kitty popped her head in. "Wow this room is huge Rogue!" 

"Come on in Kitty," Rogue waved her hand. 

"Like my new bracelet?" Kitty showed off her wrist.

"Hey that looks like the one Jean has," Rogue said.

"It is the one Jean has," Kitty grinned. "Let's just say it's her way of making up for last night. If you play your cards right Rogue, you might get something good too!" 

"Oh brother," Kurt rolled his eyes. He sat back and knocked one of the boxes on the bed over. "Oops!"

"I got it," Kitty grabbed something. "Hey…isn't this the box Mystique gave you when she was posing as Irene?"

"Yeah," Rogue sighed as she took it. "Yeah it is." 

"You still kept it?" Kurt asked. 

"I almost threw it against the wall," Rogue sighed. "But I just couldn't break it. I dunno why, but I couldn't." 

"She's still your mom," Kitty told her. "She does love you. Okay it's in a weird twisted sort of way. But it's still love."

"Irene was more of a mother to me than she ever was," Rogue said bitterly. 

"Maybe," Kitty sighed. "But she must still care about you somewhat."

"I really don't want to talk about this anymore," Rogue put the box away.

"It's okay," Kurt said. "We're your real family now. You can talk to us whenever you're ready."

"Yeah and in the meantime you can talk to Jean and really watch her squirm," Kitty grinned. 

"You know," Rogue grinned. "There is this one sweater of Jean's that I've always liked."

"I am out of here," Kurt left the room. 

************************************************************************

Back at the Pit the Misfits had just finished another training session. "Well that was fun," Lance grumbled. "Is it just me or did it seem like they put in some extra explosions for us to run through?"

"I guess it's their subtle way of telling us that we didn't exactly behave at the party last night," Althea told him. 

"Yeah well at least we didn't get KP duty like the adults did," Todd remarked. "Be thankful for that." 

"Yeah well," Pietro started to say something. "Hey guys! Look over there!" He zipped up to someone standing outside the main door. "Well if it isn't our old friend!" 

"Oh goody it's the mutant version of the Dead End Kids," British super spy Matt Burke groaned. 

"The who?" Lance asked.

"Never mind," He sighed. "Before your time." 

"What are you doing here?" Wanda asked.

"Back to teach another class?" Todd grinned.

"No thank you," Burke bristled. "Being psychologically scarred for life once is enough thank you very much!" 

"So why are you here?" Althea asked.

"We asked him here," General Hawk walked up to them along with Flint.

"Well what sort of mission do you need my help on now?" Burke asked. 

"Uh, Burke actually we need to talk about something," Flint sighed. "In private." 

"Suit yourself," Burke followed the two men to the briefing room. 

"I bet I know what that talk's gonna be about," Todd snickered. 

"The tests came back positive didn't they?" Wanda shook her head. "I knew it!" 

"I wonder how he's gonna take it?" Fred asked.

"Well let's find out!" Pietro zipped after. They waited outside the door of the briefing room. "I wish this room wasn't soundproofed!" 

"We're just going to have to wait," Althea said. 

Twenty minutes later, Burke staggered out of the briefing room with a shocked look on his face. "I don't believe it…" He muttered. "I don't believe it…"

"I don't think he believes it," Fred said. 

"I don't believe it…" Burke blinked. "I have a son…and he's…GERMAN?" 


	3. Mindless Monday Fun

**Mindless Monday Fun**

Monday morning came and went with the usual training and classes. Well maybe not as usual as they used to be thanks to a few changes made by Xavier. 

"Can you believe that Mr. Logan has been banned from using the Danger Room for like a whole month?" Kitty said excitedly. "He can't even do any training with us! How lucky is that!" 

"Yeah," Bobby nodded. "And he has to do all the driver's ed classes from now on! But that doesn't sound so bad."

"No kidding! I like have a lesson with him tomorrow," Kitty said. 

"Really? Me too!" Tabitha said. 

"So do I," Bobby said. "You know I don't mind doing any extra training as long as Mr. Logan's not in charge!" 

"You said it," Tabitha said. 

"Come on guys," Jean walked over to them with Kurt, who had his image inducer on. "The Professor wants us to all go shopping and get some groceries."

"All right!" Bobby whooped. "Road trip!" 

"I get to drive!" Kitty called out.

"Oh no you don't!" Jean snapped. "Not in my SUV!" 

"Aw come on Jean," Kitty pouted as they made their way to the van.

"No!" Jean fumed.

"But I promise I'll be extra careful," Kitty pleaded.

"No!" She said.

"And here I thought you were sorry for all the rotten things you said last night," Kitty said.

"I'm not that sorry!" Jean snapped.

"Or stupid," Tabitha said. "Face it Kitty your driving stinks!"

"You know you don't exactly hold the title of 'World's Safest Driver' ya know?" Kitty frowned as they got into the van. 

"Yeah but at least I don't crash into walls," Tabitha remarked.

"That was one time! One time I mistimed my phasing!" Kitty protested. 

"What about the other three times?" Bobby snickered.

"Shut up!" Kitty punched him in the arm. "At least I never stole a vehicle for joyrides!" 

"That's probably the only way you will ever get a vehicle if your driving doesn't improve," Kurt giggled. 

"You want your tail tied in a knot?" Kitty snapped.

"Nyah!" Kurt stuck his tongue out at her. 

"Okay you are so dead!" Kitty attacked him.

"Kitty! Kurt! Will you two knock it off?" Jean shouted as the van swerved. "I'm driving here!" 

Soon they were at the grocery store with very little damage to Jean's SUV. "All right guys now try to behave yourselves," Jean sighed as they went in. 

"What do we need?" Kitty asked. 

"Well the Professor said that you and I are going to be having a special cooking lesson tomorrow as well as the stuff for the week," Jean told her. "All the adults are going to do some kind of taste test."

"That's great!" Kitty said enthusiastically. 

"Yeah just as long as the rest of us don't have to eat it," Bobby remarked.

"Shut up Bobby!" Kitty snapped. 

"Yeah Jean your cooking is just as bad as Kitty's!" Kurt snickered. 

"Bobby!" Jean snapped. 

"I told you that you should have let me hurt him!" Kitty said to Jean. 

"Come on, let's go!" Bobby grabbed a shopping cart. "I'll race you Kurt!"

"You can't beat me!" Kurt shouted grabbing one of his own. 

"Hey I'm in!" Tabitha grabbed a shopping cart. "Last one has to eat Kitty's cooking!"

"That's it! You are all dead!" Kitty shouted, chasing after them.

"It's going to be one of those outings," Jean groaned.

All throughout the store various things could be heard. 

"Clean up on aisle one…and two…and three…and four…and…" 

"I did not see a girl's head pop out of the oranges…I did not see a girl's head pop out of the oranges…" 

"Is that…snow on the floor?" 

"How the heck can tomatoes explode?" 

"I've heard of frozen food…but frozen cereal?" 

"There's food flying all over the place! No it's really **flying **all over the place!" 

"Food fight on aisle…oh forget it!" 

"IT'S THOSE MUTANTS AGAIN!" Some woman screamed. "I should have known!" 

Everyone in the store glared at the mutants. "Uh oh," Kitty gulped. "I think we've worn out our welcome here." 

"Uh sorry about this," Jean gulped as they made their way to the cash register through a sea of hostile faces. "We'll pay for all the damage…" 

"Just take your food and go!" The manager snapped. "Get out of here!" 

"Well something tells me we won't be welcome back at that store," Jean grumbled as they carried the food to the SUV. "Way to go guys!"

"Us?" Kurt snapped. "Which one of us was using telekinesis to throw apples around? I mean…" He then stopped and looked around. He then shrugged.

"What is it Kurt?" Kitty asked.

"Nothing," Kurt sighed. "I thought we were being watched."

"We are," Tabitha grumbled. "By every yahoo in the place." They got into the van and drove away. "Geeze people are so uptight!" 

"Well it wasn't helping that we were wrecking the place," Jean remarked. "Kurt will you stop fidgeting back there!" 

"Jean turn down this street now!" Kurt snapped. 

"What? Why?" She asked.

"Just do it!" 

Jean made a hard turn down another street. "What's wrong Kurt?" Jean asked. 

Kurt looked behind him out the window. "I swear we're being followed," Kurt said looking around. 

"It's just your imagination Blue," Tabitha said. "There's not another car on this street." 

"Jean do you sense anything?" Kitty asked.

"No, not a thing," Jean blinked. "Kurt I think you're being paranoid."

"Ja," Kurt sighed. "It must be my imagination." 

The SUV pulled down another road. The passengers did not notice the car that pulled out of a hidden cul de sac. The man behind the wheel nodded and smiled to himself. He hadn't been spotted. He was even able to fool the telepath by keeping his thoughts quiet a technique he had learned years ago in a Tibetan monastery. Years of surveillance had paid off well. The mutants hadn't spotted him. This was going better than he hoped for. He needed more information on them and this was the best way to get it. 

Soon, very soon he would know what he wanted to know. 

************************************************************************

Not long after they were back at the mansion. "Dare I ask what happened at the store?" Ororo asked. She and Logan were waiting for them in the study. 

"What makes you think something happened?" Jean gulped.

"Charles just had a phone call from a very irate manager," She folded her arms.

"Busted," Bobby groaned.

"Actually it was all Kurt's fault," Kitty gulped.

"HEY!" Kurt snapped. "Why do you always have to blame me?" 

"Easy target," Tabitha shrugged.

"Speaking of targets," Logan growled as he sniffed the air. "We've got company!" He opened the door. 

"Hello!" Todd said cheerfully. Nearly all the Misfit kids were there outside the door where they had materialized. Flint, Shipwreck and Roadblock were with them as well. 

"Oh no!" Logan groaned. "Hide the silverware people! The Misfits are back!" 

"Hi there doll face!" Shipwreck waved to Ororo. 

"Oh god the teleporter is working again isn't it?" Ororo moaned. 

"Yeah we finally got it up and running," Althea told him.

"We're baa-ack!" Pietro snickered. 

"I wish you were go-one!" Kitty growled.

"You don't really mean that do you?" Lance asked.

"Well we mean it," Peter grumbled as he walked in with several other X-Men. 

"What do you want this time?" Scott snapped.

"Actually I've called them," Xavier wheeled into the room. "I've decided that we seriously need to work on our relationship with the Misfits." 

"You know what that means," Roadblock said. 

"More daily trips with them?" Ororo yelped. "Haven't we been punished enough?" 

"Apparently not," Logan groaned. "So that's what you are doing here?" 

"Actually we have some news for Kurt," Pietro grinned. "You see…"

"Can it Pietro," Roadblock said. "First we have to let Kurt know."

"What? What are you talking about?" Kurt asked. 

"Uh Kurt I think we'd like to have a talk with you," Flint sighed. "Professor I think you'd also better come with us."

"There's no way I'm missing this conversation," Shipwreck snickered as he followed him inside the study. Everyone else remained outside.

"I wonder how Kurt's gonna take the news?" Wanda asked.

"I'd be a little nervous if I knew what he's gonna know," Lance admitted. 

"Know what?" Rogue asked.

"Let's just say the elf's life is going to get a little more complicated," Lance snickered. 

**Who is the mysterious figure following Kurt? How will Kurt react to the news of his father's identity? Stay tuned as this soap opera continues. **


	4. How Do You Do Dad?

**Okay people, keep in mind this is my version of Kurt's origin. Remember that it's my demented alternate universe and I can do what I want. Heh, heh. **

**How Do You Do Dad?**

"So what's all this about?" Kurt asked.

"Well you see kid we kind of found out some information a while back," Shipwreck scratched his head. "We didn't wanna tell you until we were positively sure."

"What sort of information?" Xavier asked. 

"I guess I might as well come out and say it," Flint said. "Kurt we've found your biological father." 

"My…my father?" Kurt blinked. He sat down on a nearby chair.

"How?" Xavier's jaw dropped.

"We came across some…interesting information by accident," Flint told him. "We've done some blood and genetic testing and it was positive. It was a bit of a shock for him as well."

"Who is he? What's he like? I…" Kurt asked rapidly.

"Take it easy Kurt," Xavier motioned him to calm down. 

"His name is Matthew Burke. He's a British secret agent," Flint handed him a picture of Burke. 

"He's…BRITISH?" Kurt gasped. "My father is British?" 

"Yeah," Shipwreck said. "I guess it turns out you don't have any German blood in you at all."

"Wait a minute…are you telling me that I'm not really German?" Kurt gasped. "_I'm British?" _

"Half-British at least, since god only knows where Mystique's from," Flint sighed. 

"But we definitely know that she's not from Germany," Shipwreck said.

"Oh yeah definitely not from Germany," Flint nodded.

"I'm British?" Kurt gasped. "I can't be British! Listen to my accent for crying out loud!" 

"Kurt it doesn't matter," Xavier said. 

"The hell it doesn't matter," Kurt swore. "How can I be British for crying out loud!"

"For crying out loud Kurt you were raised in Germany and that's where your heart is, of course you're German," Shipwreck groaned. "It doesn't matter where your bloodline originated from."

"There's nothing wrong with being British," Xavier said.

"That's easy for you to say Professor you are British!" Kurt groaned.

"Actually I'm American," Xavier told him.

"Really?" Shipwreck looked at him. "Then where'd you get that snooty accent?"

"I spent a great deal of my youth overseas," Xavier sighed. "I think we're getting a little off track here. We need to talk more about Kurt's father. Who's a secret agent?" 

"Yeah it turns out he met Mystique while posing as a German count for a spy operation a while back," Flint said. 

"Wait a minute, you are telling me that my father…my British father…is a secret agent as well?" Kurt stared at him. "Like James Bond?"

"Well if you mean that he sleeps with every skirt he comes across with then…" Flint grumbled. "I mean yeah kind of like that. He was doing some undercover work at the time."

"More like under the covers work," Shipwreck snickered.

"Shipwreck!" Xavier snapped. "So what exactly was Burke doing in Germany?"

"I think I can guess what he was doing in Germany," Kurt grumbled. "Let me guess, he freaked out when he found out I was a mutant?"

"Actually I think he was more disturbed by the whole German thing," Shipwreck said. "Said he needed some time to think about it. Took off right after we told him about you." 

"Not that I blame him. I don't exactly look like him," Kurt sighed. 

"Well there is some resemblance," Shipwreck said. "I mean in the shape of the face and the chin a little." 

"Maybe but you have to admit that I take after my mother," Kurt sighed.

"Kurt I realize that this must be a shock for you but…" Xavier stopped speaking and put his hand to his temple.

"What's wrong?" Flint asked. 

"I just got some kind of mental glimpse…an accidental slip of someone's mind…There's someone spying on us!" Xavier touched his temple. "Out there!" He pointed to an open window. 

"What?" Flint and Shipwreck went to the window. 

"Is it Magneto or one of his henchmen?" Kurt asked. 

"We should alert the others," Xavier was about to when Shipwreck stopped him.

"Hey I recognize that guy! I can't believe he's out there right now!" Shipwreck pointed to something in the trees. "HEY BURKE! THAT YOU? WHAT'RE YOU DOING HIDING IN THERE?" 

"That's Kurt's father?" Xavier asked.

"Yup that's him," Shipwreck nodded. "OH DON'T TRY TO HIDE WE CAN ALL SEE YOU PERFECTLY NOW! COME ON IN BURKE!" 

"I thought someone was following me!" Kurt gasped. "Why?" 

"I guess he wanted to get more information about you or something," Flint shrugged. "Typical secret agent. Never think of simply asking."

"My father is out there?" Kurt blinked.

"Kurt wait!" Xavier warned, but he was too late, Kurt had already teleported away.

Kurt teleported to the tree and saw the super spy before him. Both blinked at each other in complete shock. Burke was so shocked he fell out of the tree. Fortunately he managed to grasp onto a branch. "I'm okay!" Burke said. 

"I'm sorry…I…" Kurt gasped.

"No, no, no need to apologize," Burke said. "Occupational hazard. Happens all the time. No harm done." 

"You…you're…" Kurt couldn't find the words. "You're my…father?"

"Apparently," Burke sighed. "Um I'm Matthew Burke. Secret Agent for her Royal Majesty's government."

"I'm Kurt Wagner," Kurt gulped. 

"A.K.A Nightcrawler of the X-Men," Burke said. "I read your file."

"Oh," Kurt nodded. 

"Um…could you help me down please?" Burke asked. 

"Oh yes," Kurt took him by the hand and teleported him to the ground.

"Well that's a handy talent," Burke brushed some leaves off his clothes. "Could have used it myself on one or two occasions." 

"HEY BURKE!" Shipwreck shouted out the window. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? HANGING AROUND?" 

"Very amusing Shipwreck," Burke grumbled. "Well we might as well go and talk to them before they all come barging out here. If you don't mind?"

"No not at all," Kurt took Burke by the arm and teleported him into the study.

"Welcome Mr. Burke," Xavier raised an eyebrow. "I'm Charles Xavier."

"Yes I know," Burke nodded. "Forgive the unorthodox intrusion, but I was merely um…"

"Spying on your son?" Flint folded his arms.

"I wouldn't put it like that," Burke said defensively. "I was merely learning more about him in a covert way. I am a secret agent you know, it is what I do." 

"Typical," Flint grunted. 

"Look, I didn't even know I had a son until less than 24 hours ago," Burke told him. "You have to admit it was a bit of a shock. I just wanted to find out a few things for myself before contacting the boy."

"How did you get here so fast?" Shipwreck asked.

"Oh my Auntie has her ways," Burke grinned.

"His 'Auntie' is the acronym for the agency he works for," Flint explained. "I forget what it means, but it usually means trouble for us." 

"You still haven't forgiven me for that nerve gas affair," Burke grumbled. "Really Flint talk about holding a grudge!" 

"Perhaps we should just leave the two of them alone for now," Xavier suggested. "Let them get better acquainted." 

"Thank you, appreciate that," Burke nodded. They left the two of them alone. "I have to apologize about the way I went about this. I mean you have to understand this is new territory for me. I mean I'm used to dealing with murderers and thieves and power mad lunatics who want to rule the world and beautiful…well you get the idea."

"Ya, I guess being a father was kind of a shock to you," Kurt sighed.

"Well yes but…" Burke sighed as he sat down on the couch. "Now that I know that I do have a son, well…it's the first time anyone's proven I have one…I would like to get to know you better. I know it's not going to be perfect but…I'd like to establish some kind of relationship. If you don't mind."

"No," Kurt sat down next to him. "I'd like that."

"Good. Good. So," Burke sighed. "You're a mutant? How's that been going for you?" 


	5. Dinnertime is Family Time

**Dinnertime is Family Time**

"I can't believe after all these years Kurt's finally found his father," Bobby said as the X-Men were preparing dinner. 

"Yeah that must be something," Scott sighed as he tossed the salad. "I know how he feels. When I first discovered Alex after all that time…" 

"Well I think it's encouraging that Mr. Burke has accepted Kurt so quickly," Ororo nodded. 

"Well I'm not so crazy about it," Logan sat at a chair in the back with his arms folded. "There's something about that guy I don't like."

"You and every man he's ever met," Flint walked in. "Don't get me wrong, Burke can be a pompous selfish jerk whose ego is larger than Quicksilver's, but I think for once his heart's in the right place." 

"He doesn't seem so bad," Ororo defended.

"Yeah well just remember this is the man who slept with Mystique," Logan growled.

"Yeah he's like Shipwreck only with more charm," Flint told her. 

"He is not more charming than I am," Shipwreck walked in with Althea.

"Please a dead rat has more charm than you have," Althea waved. 

"It's so nice that you have such a respect for your father," Shipwreck made a face.

"And if I didn't you wouldn't be standing here right now," Althea told him. 

"Look could you two do us all a favor and keep the warm father-daughter bantering to a minimum at dinner tonight?" Ororo sighed. "Kurt's invited his father to dinner and we all want to make a good impression on him."

"Well it's too late for us," Althea told her. "We Misfits kinda sent him on a little vacation a while back." 

"What kind of vacation?" Jean asked.

"Don't ask," Flint groaned. "You really don't want to know."

"Let's just say they had some nice warm and comfy straightjackets," Shipwreck snickered. 

"Do they really have to be here tonight?" Scott asked Logan.

"Chuck still has this crazy idea that we're all gonna end up one big happy family," Logan sighed. 

"Oh come on," Shipwreck said. "You guys would be bored stiff if we didn't keep showing up! Admit it, you love us! Right?" 

"Let's just say we'll be keeping an eye on the silverware," Scott growled. 

"That was a joke!" Shipwreck protested. "We would have returned it."

"Eventually," Althea grinned. 

"It's gonna be a long night," Ororo rolled her eyes.

************************************************************************

"Well here we all go for another memorable meal with the X-Geeks," Lance drawled as the Misfits entered the dining room. Except for Kurt all the X-Men were already there along with Roadblock, Shipwreck and Flint.

"Yeah and we have the Misfit Morons to entertain us," Scott said sarcastically.

"That's enough! Both of you!" Ororo snapped. 

"He started it!" Both boys said at the same time.

"Listen," Xavier warned. "This night is important to Kurt. That means I do not want this dinner to turn into the usual food fight fiasco we usually have! Understand?"

"It's not us you have to worry about," Scott folded his arms.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Althea snapped.

"What do you think it means?" Jean glared at her.

"You wanna make something out of it?" Todd snapped. 

"Stop it right now!" Xavier snapped. "Behave yourselves! I'm warning you!"

"That goes for you kids as well," Roadblock warned the Misfits. "Act like fools and I'll make your lives hell!" 

"Okay, okay," Todd held up his hands. "You made your point. Geeze, don't get so touchy!" 

They made their way to the table. Kurt was already there with Rogue and Burke. "So you're Kurt's sister?" Burke asked her.

"Half sister yeah," Rogue nodded.

"Charmed," Burke bowed. "I've read about your mutation. It's quite interesting." 

"Interesting isn't the word for it," Rogue rolled her eyes. "And that's Remy over there."

"That's her boyfriend," Kurt smirked.

"Bonjour," Remy grinned. 

"Ah bonjour," Burke smiled. Then he spoke something in French that made Remy blink in pleasant surprise. 

"You speak French?" Kurt blinked.

"It's one of several languages I speak," Burke told him.

"He's more adept in the language of love," Shipwreck whispered to Flint who snickered at this. 

"What'd he say?" Rogue asked.

"He wanted to know if I was respectful to Kurt's sister," Remy grinned. "I'd better be, or else she'd beat the stuffing out of me." 

"Like you have a choice! Not being able to touch anybody does put a hamper on your love life," Rogue sighed. 

"Oh I don't know," Burke said. "Actually there are quite a few ways of being intimate without physically touching someone."

"He should know," Shipwreck quipped. 

Ororo gave him a sharp elbow in the side. "I think we should all eat now." 

As soon as they sat at the table the Misfits immediately started to attack the food with relish. "You guys!" Kitty rolled her eyes at their display.

"What?" Todd asked, some salad poking out of his mouth. 

"Oh let them eat," Burke sighed. "I've seen it all before. Then again what do you expect from a bunch of kids trained by GI Joe?"

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" Flint bristled. 

"I think now's a good time to tell all of you that since the Joe transporter is now working we'll be having more outings together with the Misfits," Xavier interrupted him.

"Oh goody," Todd said with false cheer. "Another fun field trip!" 

"Yeah I wonder what we're going to destroy this time?" Bobby sighed. 

"We're going to the park tomorrow and nothing is going to be destroyed!" Ororo said.

"Wanna bet?" Pietro rolled his eyes.

"Well maybe if a certain group learned to act like human beings…" Scott grumbled.

"My thoughts exactly," Lance glared. 

"Boys!" Ororo said sharply. "You both behave yourselves. It's time you two started to learn to get along with each other. Or at the very least tolerate each other."

"Good advice," Roadblock said. "By the way Storm you're going to be paired up with Shipwreck tomorrow."

"WHAT?" Ororo yelled. "PROFESSOR!"

"Thank you Roadblock," Xavier sighed. "I was hoping that I would discuss that later."

"No discussion is necessary! I don't wanna be with him!" Ororo pointed.

"Your mouth says no but your eyes say yes," Shipwreck grinned.

"And my fist is going to say…" Ororo shouted.

"Hey Storm you said we all have to learn to get along with each other," Scott grinned.

"Yeah Storm you don't want to set a bad example here for us kids now do you?" Lance chuckled. 

"Play nice!" Todd told her. Ororo glared at the boys as nearly all the kids snickered. 

"Not that easy is it?" Rogue asked her.

"Look who's talking!" Wanda said. "You're not exactly Miss Sociable are you?"

"Yeah well at least I'm not crazy!" Rogue snapped. 

"Don't…call me…crazy!" Wanda growled. Several objects were starting to shake at the table. 

"That's enough!" Xavier said sternly. "Behave yourselves! Mr. Burke is a guest here."

"So what's it like being a super spy?" Sam asked. "Is it really like all those James Bond pictures?"

"Oh…Sam is it?" Burke acknowledged him. "It's not that glamorous. Oh sure there's all the gadgets and gizmos you get to work with. But you have to memorize how to work with them all and that takes at least an hour to practice with them. And yes an agent does have to go to several exotic locations. Sometimes you could be sipping tea in London one day and in less than 24 hours you may have to go skiing down the Swiss Alps! It's all that constant travel that really gets you down sometimes. And you're always in some kind of conflict with someone whether it's just a lowly flunky who's trying to assassinate you in a Marti Gras Parade or fighting for your life against an evil megalomaniac who has a base hidden inside a volcano. I mean it really gets tiresome sometimes."

"I'll bet," Logan growled. 

"And of course you have to do a lot of research," Burke continued. "Whether it's some kind of technical manual for the latest weapon someone's created to destroy the earth or someone's personal file. I mean you have to memorize every detail from where they went to grammar school to whom they've slept with and all their deepest darkest secrets."

"Wow," Jamie was wide eyed along with half the kids at the table. "Kurt your dad is so cool!" 

"And of course you meet so many interesting people all the time," Burke went on.

"Particularly women," Shipwreck grimaced.

"Especially women," Burke now had a faraway look in his eyes. "Very beautiful women constantly…" He remembered himself. "Well you get the idea." 

"I'll bet," Pietro snickered. "So why don't you tell us all how you met Mystique?"

"Uh…" Burke looked around nervously. "I don't think that is a story appropriate for the dinner table. Besides it was a top secret mission and I'm not really allowed to disclose its facts."

"You told us," Pietro pointed out. "Remember when you had to teach us for that day?"

"How could I ever forget?" Burke groaned. "That day is forever scarred in my mind!" 

"I'm sure that Blue Boy would love to know the details here," Pietro grinned. "Assuming you haven't told him already."

"Uh…No but…" Kurt gulped.

"See Burke here was impersonating a German count while he was investigating this other German count," Todd started. "Things were going pretty well until he met up with his fiancée…" 

"Toad…" Ororo growled.

"Well one thing led to another and before long…." Pietro started.

"I think I can guess what happened thank you very much!" Kurt snapped.

"To make matters more interesting the Count caught Burke and his fiancée here in shall we say _in flagrante delecto…_" Pietro continued, clearly enjoying himself.

"That means they were doing it," Fred told everyone at the table.

"Yeah I think we figured that out Blob," Scott groaned. 

"Okay I've lost my appetite," Rogue dropped her fork on the table.

"Yes, yes we all get it! I remember it very well!" Burke snapped.

"You should cause she morphed back into her original blue self seconds before the Count burst in," Pietro said. "Apparently you are good at what you do." 

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION HERE!" Kurt yelled and covered his ears. 

"Jamie leave the table!" Logan snapped.

"Why?" Jamie protested. "It's not like I don't know anything about this stuff! You should see the magazines Sam and Ray keep under their beds!"

"Thanks a lot you little…" Ray snarled and lunged at him. 

"Yikes!" Jamie dashed off. 

"Get him!" Sam shouted as he and Ray chased after him.

"Shouldn't we…?" Ororo made a move to get up.

"Don't…" Logan stopped her. "Just let them kill him. We'll clean up the mess later." 

"Oh man," Scott groaned. "You guys really know how to start things don't you?" 

"Well considering all the material we have to work with…" Pietro snickered.

"That's enough," Xavier groaned. "We'll continue this…discussion later. It's not really appropriate at the dinner table." 

"Or at any other table," Burke added.

"Unless it's a table at a brothel," Shipwreck grinned.

"SHIPWRECK!" Roadblock shouted. 

"Can we please talk about something else besides my mom's sex life before I puke?" Rogue pleaded. 

"Yes!" Xavier said quickly. "I'm actually surprised that you've accepted Kurt as your son so quickly, Mr. Burke."

"Well I admit it was a bit of a shock," Burke shrugged.

"With his track record it was bound to happen sooner or later," Flint muttered to Shipwreck. 

"I mean the mutant thing I can handle, it's the German thing that threw me for a loop," Burke said.

"Tell me about it," Kurt grumbled. "I can't believe I'm British!" 

"Well I don't get it," Pietro grumbled. "Why is that such a big deal over the whole mutant thing?"

"It must be some kind of European thing," Fred shrugged.

"So Burke are you heading back with us on the Teleportation Express or are you driving back?" Shipwreck asked.

"Actually Xavier was kind enough to extend an invitation for me to spend the night here," Burke told him. "I'm also going to spend the day with Kurt before leaving back to HQ late Tuesday night."

"Well that's nice," Kitty said. "You and Kurt can really bond and stuff you know."

"Yes Storm can show you to the guest room later," Xavier said.

"Let's hope that's all she shows him," Flint grumbled.

"Oh come on Flint give the lady some credit!" Shipwreck snapped. "I mean she ain't Mystique!"

"That's true," Flint nodded. 

"Are we back to this again?" Rogue groaned. 

"Hey if she'll sleep with Zartan and Sabertooth, she'll sleep with anybody!" Flint protested. "Sorry Kurt but it's true!" 

"Well that's a nice thing to say about his mother!" Ororo bristled.

"Oh please, don't act like that," Shipwreck waved. "You were thinking the exact same thing!"

"Yes but I wouldn't have said it out loud in front of Kurt!" Ororo snapped.

"It's not his fault his mom's a slut," Althea said. "Look at my mother!"

"Oh for crying out loud Althea considering who she was married to anyone would have been a step up!" Burke snapped. 

"How'd you like some gravy?" Shipwreck picked up a ladle full and tossed it at Burke. 

"Thank you Shipwreck, how about some rolls?" Burke tossed some at him.

"You forgot the butter!" Shipwreck threw some at me.

"Of course how careless of me," Burke got a dangerous gleam in his eye. "Would you like some soda?" He picked up his glass and was prepared to throw it at Shipwreck.

"Actually I've got that!" Flint grabbed a spare soda bottle, shook it and aimed it at Burke. The spray splattered him all over. 

"Good one!" Shipwreck laughed.

"Have some salad you two!" Roadblock shouted as he tossed some salad at both Shipwreck and Flint. "Now is your juvenile behavior through?"

"Not even close," Shipwreck grabbed some food and prepared to lobby it at him.

"STOP IT!" Ororo shouted. "ALL OF YOU! HOW DARE YOU COME INTO OUR HOME AND BEHAVE LIKE…" Suddenly she was hit with mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. She did a slow burn and glared at the snickering Hank and Logan. "Okay if that's the way you want to play it!" She grabbed some food and tossed it at them. 

"Stop it! All of you just…" Xavier protested as the adults started to fight with the food. Then he got hit with a huge gob of applesauce. "Behave yourselves."

The kids decided not to partake in the food fight, but merely become spectators. "Well this is something you don't see every day," Scott blinked as the other adults went at it. 

"Your dad really is interesting Kurt," Kitty blinked. "Wow, look at him aim with those green beans! He's using them like darts."

"We gotta take notes on his technique," Pietro said. "We could learn something from all this!"

"I for one am learning a lot more about my father than I ever wanted to know," Kurt sighed. 

"Just one night of us all acting like civilized people," Xavier moaned as the applesauce dribbled down his head. "That's all I wanted! That's not too much to ask is it?" 

"Is he kidding?" Fred pointed a thumb at him. 

"Hey at least they can't say we started a food fight this time," Lance shrugged. "Or participated in it! Boy I can't wait until we get home! Are they gonna get it!" 

"I can't wait until our field trip tomorrow," Todd snickered. "That's gonna be such fun!" 


	6. Tuesday in the Park with Shipwreck

**Tuesday in the Park with Shipwreck**

"I can't believe I'm actually jealous of Kurt spending the day in the Danger Room," Rogue grumbled. The X-Men and the Misfits had just arrived at the park and they were spread out over a wide area. Kitty, Rogue and Jean were sitting underneath a tree. 

"Kurt's running some training exercises with his dad. Mr. Burke wanted to try out the Danger Room himself. And they need some time alone. So we're stuck here with the Misfits," Kitty sighed. 

"We love you too Kitty," Wanda said sarcastically as she and Althea walked up to them. 

"What the heck is Jamie doing?" Althea asked pointing to the youngest X-Man.

"After he made that birthday video for me he's decided to become a director," Rogue made an amused face. 

"I need quiet on the set!" Jamie shouted. He was wearing red sunglasses and a black beret. "Mutants at the Park! Take one! I want feeling people! Emotion! Drama!"

"Jamie we're just playing Frisbee," Bobby said. 

"Jamie are those my spare glasses?" Scott asked.

"And isn't that my beret?" Tabitha asked.

"QUIET!" Jamie whipped out a megaphone. "We're rolling!" 

"You're gonna be rolling if you don't knock it off!" Ray snapped. 

"You have no idea what we've been going through lately," Kitty sighed.

"Wanna bet?" Althea snickered. 

"Toad has been doing a turn as a director as well," Wanda grimaced. 

"What has he tried to film either of you in your nightgowns?" Kitty asked.

"Unfortunately no," Althea sighed. "But he has made some interesting films of the babies. He's quite creative."

"OW!" The sound of a slap followed by Shipwreck screaming got their attention.

"Which is more than can be said for Shipwreck and his pick up lines," Wanda shook her head. 

"All I said was that I'd give you the key to my heart but you've already picked the lock!" Shipwreck protested as he followed Ororo. 

"My dad is such an idiot," Althea groaned. "No woman in her right mind would fall for a line like that! And if she did, she'd have to be either extremely stupid or extremely insane!" 

"Hello ladies," Todd hopped over. "Hell-llooo Althea. Hey is it hot out today or is it just you?"

Althea giggled. "You sure know how to set a girl on fire."

"Well I can cool you off," Todd put his arms around her. "How about a dip into Lake Toad?" 

"Sounds like fun! Come on baby," Althea purred. "Let's go. See you later girls!" 

Jean, Rogue, Kitty and Wanda stood there with their mouths open. Kitty was about to say something, but Wanda held up her hand in front of her. "Don't…" Wanda sighed. "She's better off not knowing. Believe me." 

Meanwhile Ororo was sitting at a picnic table with Shipwreck. "Why did I agree to this?" Ororo sighed.

"Because I'm irresistible," Shipwreck grinned. "Oh come on Storm, it's not that bad!"

"What really irritates me is that we're the only two adults here!" Ororo grumbled. "Running the Danger Room programs and going over the schedules my butt! They just wanted to get away from the kids!"

"So how have they been?" Shipwreck asked.

"How do you think?" Ororo sighed. "Kitty nearly killed Logan yesterday during a driving simulation. Don't ask. Let's just say that girl has a talent for making machinery short circuit!" 

"She's not the only one," Shipwreck grinned. "You short circuit my heart." 

"Do you have to constantly hit on me?" She snapped at him. "It makes me angry!" 

"What's wrong with that?" Shipwreck said. "There's nothing more attractive to me than a strong woman with her eyes flashing with anger. I don't know why but I love it." 

"You have a serious problem you know that?" Ororo sighed.

"Hey I can't help being a romantic," Shipwreck shrugged. 

"You have very strange ideas of romance," Ororo told him. 

"It's not just me that's bugging you," Shipwreck said. "Something else is on your mind. Come on you can tell me. I'm a good listener."

"It's nothing," Ororo waved him off.

"It's about Evan isn't it?" Shipwreck said in a softer tone. "What happened wasn't your fault. There was no way you could have known his mutation would have affected him like that." 

"I still should have done something!" Ororo sighed. 

"There wasn't that much else you could have done," Shipwreck said. "Look from what Ray tells us the Morlocks may live in a sewer but they take care of their own. He's fine. He can take care of himself pretty well. You're the one who trained him, remember?" 

Ororo didn't say anything. Shipwreck put a comforting hand on hers. "Take it from me, I know what you're going through to some degree. Feeling guilt for every thing bad that happens to your kid is part of the job description of being a parent. Everything from a bump on the head to…well the most extreme situations you keep wondering and asking yourself, 'What did I do wrong?' 'Why couldn't I stop my baby from getting hurt?' It happens. Remember when Magneto kidnapped my son? I fought with everything I had and there was nothing I could do. But I still blame myself to some degree. Actually I blame Magneto a lot more but that's another story."

"But why didn't he come talk to me?" Ororo asked. "Why didn't he think he could talk to me?"

"Every teenager in the world has doubted their parents or relatives and expected the worst at least once," Shipwreck said. "It's a universal thing. Let me tell you another truth about parenting which really sucks: You can't protect them from everything. One day you realize that they have their own opinions and lives and decisions to make. They could be happy or get hurt and there's not a thing you can do about it. What you can do is teach them everything you know and hope for the best." 

"I guess you're right," Ororo sighed. "I just wish he'd at least contact me once in a while. Let me know if he's okay." 

"He will, eventually."

"You know," Ororo looked at him. "Just when I have decided that you are the most annoying lunatic alive…you say something like that and show a completely different side of you." 

"See you are warming up to me," Shipwreck grinned. 

"Well maybe you're not that bad," Ororo sighed. "I forgot my watch. Do you have the time?" 

"Do you have the energy?" Shipwreck raised his eyebrows. 

"Now see this is what I'm talking about!" Ororo threw up her hands. "Why do you always…?"

"STOOOOOOORRRRRRRMMMMM!" Jamie's scream interrupted her. Scott, Tabitha, Ray and Bobby were chasing him. "THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME!" 

"I think we'd better break this up," Shipwreck winced as one of Tabitha's time bombs missed Jamie and blew up a shrub. "Before they blow up the park."

"Good idea," Ororo stood up and walked over to them. "All right that's enough! What happened this time?"

A chorus of protests and complaints answered this. "ALL RIGHT NEVER MIND!" Ororo shouted and held up her hands.

"I think what we have here is a little too much time on our hands," Shipwreck said. "Everybody hustle in! We're gonna have a game on!" This was met with a chorus of groans. "Now this will be fun! And we'll have equal teams made up of both X-Men and…" He looked around. "Okay why are the X-Men the only ones here?" 

"Where the heck did the Misfits go?" Ororo groaned.

"Who cares?" Peter scoffed.

"Yeah let 'em go," Scott said.

"Kitty's missing as well," Rogue remarked. "She was with us but then she saw Lance and took off." 

"EVERYBODY FAN OUT!" Peter shouted. 

"Calm down," Shipwreck waved. "I think I have a pretty good idea of where they are." 

**So where did the Misfits and Kitty go? Next chapter, a little bit of fluff and sappiness will show you! **


	7. Back to the Brotherhood House

**Back to the Brotherhood House**

"Well here we are," Lance said as they drove up the driveway. "The old Brotherhood House." 

"You think we should have taken the X-Van?" Kitty asked.

"Hey we're only borrowing it," Lance told her. "We need it to pack up our stuff. It's not like we're taking it for joyrides or anything!"

"Ah the old homestead," Todd hopped out after Lance parked the van. "So many memories."

"Yeah and half of them were crap," Pietro told him as he got out. 

"So this is your old hangout huh?" Althea looked around. "For some reason I'm not surprised." 

"You think this is bad, wait until you see the inside," Kitty told her. 

"You weren't kidding," Althea remarked as they opened the door. "No wonder the door's not locked, who'd want to steal anything from this dump! There's mold everywhere…pizza boxes…trash…"

"I suppose it's in disrepair from not being used," Xi remarked as he crinkled his nose.

"Actually it looks pretty much the same when we left," Lance told her. 

"I can't believe we once lived in this dump," Wanda shook her head.

"I can," Fred said.

"Hey but you gotta admit the old place is filled with all kinds of things," Todd said.

"Yeah like roaches, rats…" Kitty grimaced at the mess around her. 

"No I mean memories, all the stuff we did when we lived here," Todd told her. "Hey look! See that dent in the wall? That's where Mystique banged her head against it once for a solid ten minutes straight! We timed it!" 

"Do I want to know why?" Kitty asked Lance.

"Not really," Lance sighed. "Let's just say it had something to do with Toad, a frog and a giraffe."

"Gotcha," Kitty looked pale. "Wait…a giraffe?"

"Don't ask," Lance groaned. "It's a long story!" 

"And this is where Freddy threw me against the wall," Todd pointed at an old outline of a body. "And this is where we once had a huge food fight. You can still see the ketchup stains on the ceiling. Oh and this is where Tabitha blew up the closet. Of course me and Pietro were in it at the time. Ah memories…" 

"You want memories?" Pietro grimaced. "How about all those months when we were without heat, food and water? If we didn't steal we would have starved!" 

"Let's just get our stuff and get out of this dump," Wanda went upstairs.

"Yeah I'd love to see what Todd's room looks like," Althea followed her.

"Uh…maybe that's not such a good idea Poopsie," Todd gulped as he went upstairs. 

"What do you mean?" Althea asked as she opened a door marked Toad's Room. She looked inside. "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL IS THIS?" 

"Okay maybe it's a little messy," Todd gulped.

"Toad cities that have been bombed by nuclear warheads are a little messy! This is a disaster zone!" Althea cringed. 

"Well it could use a little cleaning up," Todd told her.

"It could use a lighted match!" Althea groaned. 

The others were downstairs scavenging. "Junk, junk…oh that's a good one," Pietro was zipping through a collection of books, videos and CDs. "I'll take that one and that one and that one, but I don't want that one! And that one…" 

"I can't believe our stuff was here all this time and we forgot all about it," Fred said. "Ooh! Look! My hula hoop!" 

"What's a hula hoop?" Xi asked.

"Oh god Xi don't ask that question please!" Pietro groaned. 

"I'll show you later," Fred told Xi. 

Meanwhile Kitty had followed Lance upstairs to his room. She caught him retrieving something from underneath his bed. "What's that?" She asked.

"What's what?" Lance whirled around quickly, hiding something behind him.

"Whatever it is behind your back," Kitty told him.

"Nothing. Really."

"Let me see!" She reached out to grab it.

"No way!" Lance yelped. He tried to keep it away from her but she phased her hand through his body and grabbed at the object, pulling it out of his grasp.

"Ha!" She laughed. "What is this?" It was a small blue blanket.

"Give it back!" Lance snapped, grabbing it from her. "It's…it's my woobie…" 

"Your what?" Kitty raised an eyebrow. 

"I know it sounds stupid," Lance held the faded scrap of cloth. "But it's the only thing I have left from my mom and dad. Well at least the guy I considered to be my dad." 

Kitty saw the look on Lance's face. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Yeah well," Lance frowned. "It's not exactly something I brag about. It's just…Promise you won't tell anyone?" He sat down on the bed. 

"I promise," She sat down on the bed next to him. 

"It's just…a reminder that I did have parents and maybe…maybe they loved me," Lance said softly. "Sometimes…after a real bad dream, just holding it makes me feel better. I don't use it often but…"

"I'm sorry," Kitty brushed his bangs away from his eyes. 

"I really didn't have anything growing up ya know," Lance spoke in a whisper. "Sometimes this was all that kept me going. I didn't have anyone who cared about me, much less love me before." 

Kitty hugged him tightly. Lance held onto her. "I know you don't understand my friends," Lance told her. "But they really are like family to me. We've all been through so much…apart and together…Especially in the past couple of years. With all the craziness that's happened, even when we act like jerks towards each other…it's just…we just know where we're coming from. Okay?" 

"I think so," Kitty sighed. 

Lance pulled away. "Don't be sad for me Kitty," He held her face in his hand. "I'm happy now. We're all together and in a good home now. That's the way it should be." He leaned towards her and was about to kiss her.

"Hey I hate to break up the touching moment here," Pietro quipped as he stood in the doorway. "But we could really use a hand!" 

Lance glared at him and then started to applaud sarcastically. "Very amusing," Pietro folded his arms. "But seriously, we could use some help. Toad wants to bring home a moose head for some reason." 

"Oh no," Lance groaned. "Come on Kitty. We'd better get to work." 

Somehow they managed to get Todd to not take the moose's head. Soon they had gathered a collection of things at the bottom of the stairs. "Wow Lance I didn't know you played guitar," Kitty blinked. 

"You never asked," Lance grinned.

"Hey Kitty if you wanted to listen to Lance serenade you all ya have to do is watch this?" Todd held up a videotape.

"What is that?" Lance asked, dreading the answer. 

"Just a little home movie we made!" Todd snickered.

"Oh yeah I forgot all about that!" Pietro grinned. "We gotta watch it! Is the TV 

and VCR still here?"

"Yeah and it's still got juice in it," Fred grinned.

"Movie time!" Pietro shouted. 

"Oh I have got to watch this," Althea sat on the couch next to Todd.

"What is it?" Xi asked.

"Lance making a complete fool of himself," Pietro told him.

"So what else is new?" Xi shrugged.

"Hey!" Lance snapped. He watched the video. "Oh man, I'd forgotten all about that night!"

"We didn't," Pietro snickered. On the screen was Lance serenading Kitty at the X-Mansion. 

"Oh my god I remember that night," Kitty snickered. "I was soooo embarrassed!" 

"This is funny!" Xi laughed.

"That's nothing, wait until you see what happens next yo!" Todd laughed. "Here comes Summers! And another night of discussion on the front lawn." 

"It's not funny!" Lance snapped. "Rogue burned my butt when she borrowed Jubilee's powers!" Everyone howled with laughter as the scene came up. "It's not funny!" 

"The hell it isn't!" Pietro chuckled.

"Oh really?" Lance looked through a box of tapes. "You wanna see funny? Well Mr. Smart Guy, how about this for laughs?" He put in another tape. Suddenly the image of Pietro in a multicolored bird costume came up. "Remember this?"

"Oh my god I'd forgotten all about that!" Pietro went white as everyone laughed. 

"What was this?" Xi giggled.

"Whatever it is I love it!" Wanda howled. "I want a copy!" 

"Pietro tried to hypnotize me but he ended hypnotizing himself!" Todd laughed. 

"Yeah that sounds like one of my brother's plans all right," Wanda snickered. 

"This is so humiliating," Pietro covered his face. 

"As you can see we had a lot of fun with this! Of course this was right before Lance took off to X-Geek land!" Fred chuckled. 

"What?" Althea asked.

"Yeah he tried to join the X-Men," Fred folded his arms and pointed at Kitty. "Three guesses why?"

"Well looking at the tape it's not that hard to see why he left," Kitty stuck her tongue out at him. 

"You tried to be an X-Man?" Althea looked at Lance. 

"Yeah well it didn't exactly go well," Lance groaned. "I didn't even last a week there!" 

"Obviously!" Xi snickered. 

"Hey I wasn't the only one who switched sides, remember?" Lance told them. He took out another tape. "Remember this?" 

"Oh is that from that day?" Fred asked.

"Oh yeah…" Lance grinned. He put it in. "This was taken when Tabby was living with us. Let's just say we all got a little fed up with her one day." 

"Is that her underwear all over the lawn?" Kitty snickered.

"Oh yeah," Fred chuckled. "And this is the part where we get her with silly string!" 

"I have got to bring a copy of this back to the mansion!" Kitty laughed. "How many tapes do you have?"

"Quite a few," Lance pointed at a few boxes. "Let's just say some of them are quite entertaining." 

Not long after they decided to finish packing. It didn't take them long to bring everything outside. "Man I never knew you guys had this much junk," Althea wiped the perspiration from her brow. "What's with all the garden gnomes?" 

"That was one of Toad's little hobbies for a time," Lance snickered. 

"Well I think it's time to go," Lance sighed. "Even the X-Men would have noticed we were gone by now."

"Bye house!" Todd sadly waved at it. 

"I'm amazed nobody's bothered to condemn it," Wanda said.

"They don't have to," Lance huffed. "Sooner or later this dump will fall down on it's own!" 

"Yeah but I am gonna miss this place in a strange sort of way," Fred scratched his head. 

"This was our home," Pietro said. "As crappy as it was." 

"You have a new home now," Xi told him. "A real one." 

"A better one!" Fred pointed out. 

"Is that everything?" Althea asked. 

"I think so," Lance looked around. "Uh oh, looks like we got our stuff out just in time!" He pointed to the jeep coming up the driveway. "Busted." 

"There they are," Shipwreck drove up in his jeep with Jean and Ororo. "I told you they'd probably be right here."

"So you did," Ororo sighed. 

"You owe me a date," Shipwreck grinned. 

"What were you guys doing?" Jean asked angrily.

"Chill out Jean they were just getting their stuff," Kitty said. "I went to help. That's all!" 

"Well you should have told us where you were going!" Jean sniffed. "Especially with those guys!" 

"Okay Jean you found us out," Pietro folded his arms. "We were going to take her to our secret laboratory and turn her into a Care Bear. Happy?"

"Jean they're not the Brotherhood anymore so relax okay?" Kitty snapped. 

"Well you still should have told us where you were going," Ororo said. 

"We did," Althea pointed. "We told my dad!"

"WHAT?" Ororo yelled. 

"Heh, heh," Shipwreck grinned weakly. 

"Why you…." Ororo growled. 

Pietro noticed that Jean and Kitty were giving each other dirty looks. "Don't worry," Pietro whispered to her. "If Jean hassles you any more we've got a few good shots of her in our little collection." 

"How much?" Kitty asked. 

"You tricked me!" Ororo snapped. "I only said I'd go out with you if you could find the kids!" 

"You didn't specify how I knew," Shipwreck told her. "A deal is a deal!" 

"He has a point Storm," Lance said.

"But he tricked her!" Jean protested.

"Hey if my pop didn't trick people he'd never get any dates at all," Althea told her.

"All right! All right! I'll go on a date with you tonight," Ororo groaned. "Might as well get it over with as soon as possible!" 

**Next up, it's date night! But who's chaperoning who? Find out in the next chapter! **


	8. Dinner and a Show

**Dinner and a Show**

"Not that I'm complaining but why are we eating here?" Shipwreck asked Ororo.

"Reason one, because it's the only place I'd trust to be with you," Ororo told him.

"Okay but why did you bring all the kids?" Shipwreck pointed out.

"Reason two, to make sure I can trust you," Ororo said. "And have the kids watch my back!" 

"YAYYY!" Jamie shouted. "I win again on skee ball!" 

Colored lights blinked everywhere as they all sat at their tables. "They had to bring us to Ricky Raccoon's House of Pizza and Fun!" Rogue groaned as she sat lower in her seat. The students were all spread out at different tables in a large room. 

"Well Jamie did pick the place," Kitty told her. "And we were able to reserve a large room for the whole gang so we don't have to worry about any trouble." 

"This is so embarrassing," Jean moaned. 

"Aw come on Jean it's not that bad," Althea said. "I go to places like this with my little sisters all the time." 

"Speaking of which do you think somebody should get them off the stage?" Scott asked as he pointed to the triplets. They were up on a stage filled with animatronic animals singing happily.

"Aw leave 'em," Althea waved. "As long as they ain't turning those robots into their own personal army…" 

"See it's good for all the children to get out," Ororo grinned. 

"Okay so why are you here?" Shipwreck glared at the occupant next to him.

"I wanted to spend some more time with my son," Burke huffed. He looked out of place in a tuxedo. 

"Well did you have to dress like that?" Shipwreck looked at him. "You look ridiculous."

"This from a man dressed like Popeye the sailor," Burke bristled. 

"Will you two please behave?" Ororo groaned. "We get enough bickering from the kids. By the way, where are the babies?"

"In the Baby Ball Pen," Shipwreck pointed to the little ones floundering around nearby in a sea of multi-colored balls. 

"I knew there was a reason none of the other adults wanted to come," Burke sighed.

Meanwhile the kids were getting ready to eat. While some kids decided to complain about the place, others decided to take advantage of the fun atmosphere and enjoy themselves. "Hoo ya!" Todd waved his tickets wildly. "Look at all these babies! A couple more games and I'm gonna get me some prizes!"

"Toad aren't you a little old for this?" Scott asked.

"Ha!" Lance laughed sarcastically. 

"We love places like this!" Fred said cheerfully.

"You would!" Rogue grumbled. 

"Oh come on guys lighten up!" Althea said. "We're here so why not make the best of it?" 

"Well at least with all of us around Shipwreck won't try anything," Scott said.

"Wanna bet?" Althea groaned. "What's up with Xi?"

Xi was walking around the entire place. Actually he what he was really doing was happily zipping along from one game to the next. Currently Xi was on the Whack a Mole game happily whacking away. There was a happy glazed look in his eyes. "Whack! Whack! Whack! Got 'em all!" Xi whooped.

"Man I've never seen Xi act like that," Lance blinked. "He's usually a lot more…reserved."

"Well Xi did spend his entire life in a lab before he escaped," Todd scratched his head. "He's not used to having fun."

"This place must be like Disney Land for him," Pietro said. 

"Whack! Whack! Whack!" Xi happily whacked the moles. 

"He's acting more hyper than Jamie," Kitty said.

"WHOO HOOOO LOOK AT ALL MY TICKETS!" Bobby shouted with glee. He danced around. "WHO'S DA MAN? WHO'S DA MAN?" 

"Although he's not nearly as hyper as Bobby," Kitty rolled her eyes.

A teenage waiter dressed in a huge Raccoon costume complete with a giant raccoon head slouched over. "Welcome to Ricky Raccoon's House of Pizza and Fun," He mirthlessly spoke. "May I take your order?" 

"Yes my good man I believe I shall start off with some escargot and truffles in a white wine sauce," Pietro quipped. "Then I will have a Waldorf Salad followed by a Veal Samboca atop some risotto with a glass of Champagne. Then I will have a small cup of orange sorbet to cleanse my palette followed by your best Tiramasu." 

"How about a greasy pepperoni pizza and some soda?" The Raccoon Boy growled.

"That'll do," Pietro grinned. 

"I'll have a Vegetarian's Delight Personal Pizza," Kitty said.

"Look let me handle this," Fred told her. He looked at the menu. "You see all these pizzas?"

"Yes that's our menu," Raccoon Boy said dryly.

"That's our order," Fred told him. "Just give us at least three of everything you got. Okay?"

"Unbelievable," The Raccoon Boy grumbled as he wrote it down. "I can't believe they even let you freaks in here! I know the boss is money hungry but this…"

"Watch it pal," Pietro's eyes grew cold. "These freaks are paying customers!" 

"Pietro don't start something," Kitty warned. 

"Hey, it's not my fault you freaks are weird!" The Raccoon Boy snapped. 

"Look who's talking pal!" Pietro snapped. "You're dressed up in a raccoon suit waiting tables!"

The Raccoon Boy was about to say something but then he stopped. "You're right…" He groaned as he walked away. "I hate my life." 

"I think I've made a new friend," Pietro grinned.

"Oh no," Lance groaned. "I recognize that look in your eye Pietro! Don't start anything!"

"Start what? Moi?" Pietro said innocently. "Excuse me, I'm just going to make sure he got our order right." He leapt up out of his seat before anyone could stop him.

"Oh boy," Lance groaned. "Here we go again!" 

"This will not end well," Peter said.

"Hey as long as he doesn't screw up the order and we get our pizzas I am not gonna complain," Fred munched on a breadstick. "What? I'm hungry?" 

"Don't you think it's kind of weird you ain't sitting with your dad though?" Todd decided to change the subject as he asked Kurt.

"Well Matt said he wanted to discuss some things with Storm," Kurt said.

"Matt? You call him Matt?" Kitty asked.

"Well neither of us is ready for me to call him 'Dad' yet," Kurt told her.

"But what could he possibly discuss with her?" Kitty asked.

"And so I said to the Ambassador, 'It's a good thing you didn't buy the parrot'!" Burke laughed. 

So did Ororo. "That was funny!"

Shipwreck was not happy at all. "Yeah, very amusing…"

"You really have led a very interesting life Mr. Burke," Ororo looked across the table at him.

"Oh please," Burke flashed a charming smile. "Call me Matt."

"I know what I'd like to call you…" Shipwreck growled. 

"Did you see that article today in the New York Times?" Burke asked "About the latest discovery at the Austrian Observatory?"

"Yes," Ororo nodded. "Isn't that amazing! And the man who discovered it was so young! How young was he?"

"Twenty I believe," Burke said.

"Really?" Ororo asked. "I thought he was rather young. Extremely brilliant."

"Yeah a real genius," Shipwreck said, not having a clue what they were talking about. "How about them Red Sox?"

"I can't believe that what he went through to get there though," Ororo kept talking to Burke. 

"I know isn't that amazing?" Burke asked.

"Yeah thrilling," Shipwreck said. "What about those Yankees? That's amazing! Huh? How about that pitcher there huh? And all the stuff he went through? Really makes ya think doesn't it? Maybe he will break that record and get into the hall of fame?" They both looked at him. "See, it's not so nice when the shoes' on the other foot is it?"

"I'm sorry Shipwreck I didn't realize you were being left out of the conversation," Burke said smoothly.

"Oh I'll bet you weren't," Shipwreck glared at Burke's hand that was on Ororo's. "Ya mind taking your hands off my date pal? I know you're used to getting the girl all the time but try to control yourself at least once pal!"

"Umm…Excuse me please Ororo, I think I need to visit the laboratory," Burke got up. 

"Yeah I could use a trip to the facilities myself," Shipwreck growled as he followed him. 

Ororo sat there bewildered. Then the Manager walked over. "Is everything all right Miss?"

"Oh yes it's fine," Ororo she said.

"Yes well I thought I'd let you know that there will be a slight delay in your meal due to a small fire," The Manager said.

"What in the kitchen?" She gasped.

"Not exactly…" He said hesitantly. 

"AGGGGGHHHHH!" A teenage employee dressed as a raccoon ran out with his tail on fire. 

"Oh god…" Ororo covered her eyes. "Who did it?"

"No one really saw," The Manager said. "Don't feel too bad though. It's not like this hasn't happened before. It's amazing how many parents allow their children to handle matches nowadays. Besides I was thinking of firing him anyway." 

"TO THE GAMES!" Jamie shouted leading a horde of clones towards the games.

A stray basketball bounced in front of them. "ROBERTO STOP THROWING THOSE BALLS AT ME!" Ray shouted. Then the sound of something exploding filled the room. 

"I don't suppose you have any wine do you?" Ororo sighed.

"Actually yeah," The manager sighed. "I keep a stash out back for the parents that have to come in here."

"Thank you…" Ororo moaned. 

Meanwhile in the Men's room…

"Okay what the hell do you think you're doing?" Shipwreck snapped. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Burke said smoothly.

"Oh don't give me that crap! I'm a lot smarter than you think pal! I know you're game," Shipwreck poked him in the chest. "She's my date tonight. You are here supposed to be bonding with your kid! Remember?" 

"Look who's talking! What about your children?" 

"Hey! Watch it! I spend plenty of time with them! At least I knew when they were born!"

"Yes but from what I've heard Althea was a close call wasn't she?"

"That's beside the point!" Shipwreck snapped. "The point is that Ororo is off limits! Got it?"

"I think that's up to her to decide don't you?" Burke asked. "It isn't my fault you can't come up with a decent conversation."

"Oh excuse me Mr. New York Times!" Shipwreck snapped. "I guess I'm just too lazy to read stuff like that. I mean all I do is raise a herd of kids including two toddlers that aren't even two yet! Not to mention trying to train and reform a mutant group as well as care for a deranged parrot! Usually when I have spare time I take off to Bora Bora or whip up a note to the Queen of England!" 

"And your point?"

"My point pal is that unlike some people I don't get the chance to have a date that often so get outta my way before I make ya!" He grabbed the front of Burke's jacket.

"Oh really?" Burke raised his eyebrow. "You and pardon the expression…what army?"

"This army…the army of five in one!" Shipwreck raised his fist.

Meanwhile things were getting even more restless outside. "BLOB GET AWAY FROM THE CANDY!" Jean shouted. "YOU'RE EATING EVERYTHING!"

"I'm hungry!" Fred shouted. "AND I WANT PIZZA!" 

"You're gonna get a knuckle sandwich if ya don't knock it off ya bozo!" Rogue snapped.

"Hey could somebody help me? I can't get Xi away from the Whack a Mole game!" Todd shouted.

"I think we have bigger problems Toad," Althea sighed as she pointed to the stage. "My sisters have taken over the robots over there!" 

Sure enough somehow the Triplets had managed to get the robot animals under their control as well as get them to move away from the stage. "Go, go my pets!" Daria laughed as the robots started to chase some of the other kids. "Fight for your Leader!"

"Hey I'm the leader!" Quinn whipped out a remote control and had a robot deer butt its head against the backside of the robot raccoon. 

"No I am!" Brittany had her robot koala body slam the robot deer.

"It's my way or the highway!" Daria shouted as she made the raccoon's tail slam upside the koala's head. 

"Oh this is not good…" Scott groaned as they watched the robot animals fight on the floor. 

"I dunno," Rogue watched. "All of the sudden this place has gotten a lot more interesting." 

Just then Burke and Shipwreck burst out of the men's room fighting. "I told you to keep your mitts of Ororo!" Shipwreck shouted.

"She's much too fine a woman to be handled by a lummox like you!" Burke shouted. 

"Great both of our dads are hitting on Storm!" Althea told Kurt. "Hey girls! I need to borrow one of those robots for a bit!" 

"Sir do you have any more wine?" Ororo groaned as she watched the chaos unfold before her.

"Have the bottle," The Manager sighed. "It's on me! In fact, I think I'll have one myself!" 

"Hey this was a fun night!" Pietro smirked. 

"Yeah. Too bad your old man has to leave so soon Fuzzy," Todd said.

"Actually right now I'm not really that upset," Kurt groaned as he watched Shipwreck and Burke fight. 

************************************************************************

As the two groups finished their misadventure to the restaurant, they were unaware that hidden cameras were watching their every move. A shadowy figure had watched everything with sadistic glee. 

"This is getting better and better," The unseen figure cackled. "Keep fighting my Misfits and X-Men. The more you fight, the more chaos you cause…and the more chaos you cause…the happier I will be."

****

Okay so who's watching the X-Men and Misfits _now_? Find out in future chapters. 


	9. Another Outing on a Wednesday Afternoon

**Another Outing on a Wednesday Afternoon**

The next morning found all the Misfits and the X-Men together in the Institute's Auditorium. "How much you wanna bet that we're gonna get **another** lecture from the Professor?" Tabitha popped her gum. 

"I don't know why he bothers," Pietro tutted. "I mean if you think about it, these incidents are more his fault than anyone's!" 

"I think my father and Althea's father had something to do with last night as well," Kurt grumbled. "I can't believe he spent the entire night chasing after Storm! And now he's gone back to his spy headquarters and who knows when I'll see him again!"

"Well I guess it's safe to say that any chance either of them had with Storm has been shot to hell," Althea sighed. "Not that I blame her." 

"Yeah she really fried those two but good," Todd snickered. 

"Here we go," Lance gestured as the X-Men adults as well as Roadblock, Shipwreck and Low Light entered the room. 

"Well to say that I am disappointed in your behavior last night is an understatement," Xavier frowned. "Of course I realize that you were not entirely to blame." Everyone glared at Shipwreck and Ororo. "However that does not excuse you for the damage you caused! You are extremely lucky that the manager decided not to press charges!"

"You mean it's lucky that he got smashed on wine and you were able to bribe him," Pietro quipped. 

"Just like you were lucky that boy who got his…behind burned wasn't seriously injured Quicksilver!" Xavier snapped. 

"You have no proof it was me," Pietro sniffed. "Hey everybody knows that setting people's butts on fire is Boom Boom's specialty! What makes you think that it wasn't her? You know what she's like!"

"And what am I like?" Tabitha bristled.

"Use 'em, choose 'em and blow 'em up," Pietro snickered. 

"Oh yeah?" Tabitha growled. "And how many girls have you gone through?" She started to power up. 

"That's enough!" Ororo said sternly. "You are not going to use your powers on anyone Tabitha!"

"You should have taken your own advice last night," Shipwreck grumbled. The students giggled as Ororo glared at him. 

"I am getting sick and tired of having these meetings!" Xavier said. "The point of these outings is to teach all of you how to control your powers and to fit into society!"

"It is?" Todd asked.

"Well in the Misfits' case it's to teach them how not to kill each other," Low Light folded his arms. 

"Well they're still here, so we've learned our lesson," Pietro said. "Can we go now?"

"Not so fast Speedy," Logan growled. "You still have to pay for all the damage you caused!"

"Hey it was my sisters and Storm that did all the damage!" Althea pointed. 

"At least that you can prove," Wanda said. 

"Yeah and we didn't fight each other…much," Lance said. 

"Yeah you guys were too busy eating everything in sight!" Kitty snapped. 

"We were hungry!" Fred snapped. "Sue us!" 

"I should for all the damage you caused," Xavier muttered as he read the bill from last night. "And this is odd, I've been billed for something called…a Whack A Mole game? Does anyone know anything about this?" 

"Vaguely," Scott glared at Xi. 

"I think I got a little carried away," Xi shrugged. 

"Okay why don't we just all cut to the chase?" Tabitha sighed. "What are you gonna do to us?" 

"Well the Triplets here are going to spend the day doing some extra long Danger Room sessions with Storm," Xavier explained. 

"Which coincidentally will also be her punishment," Althea whispered to a giggled Todd. 

"As for the rest of you…" Xavier looked at them. "I can think of no better lesson than to make sure that you all spend even **more** time together!" 

This was met with even more groans. "Couldn't you just ground us instead for a couple of years?" Kurt sighed. 

"You could send us Misfits to the Middle East?" Fred volunteered.

"Giving you goons a license to blow **more** things up would be a reward for you!" Roadblock snapped. "Instead today we're all going to spend time at the zoo!" 

"Not the zoo…" Lance groaned. "Anything but the zoo…" 

"That doesn't sound so bad," Kitty said.

"It's not a regular field trip," Xavier held up his hand. "You are all going to be attending a special event closed to the public. I have been talking with several well-placed people in the community and this will be an excellent opportunity for you to show them that mutants are people. And they don't necessarily have to act like lunatics!" 

"Which means you are all going to dress up and act nice and pretend you have manners!" Roadblock told them. 

"In other words don't screw this up!" Logan snapped. 

"Now I want all of you to go upstairs and get changed. Misfits there are some clothes put aside for you. We leave in an hour," Xavier told them.

"It's not fair!" Amara grumbled. "Why couldn't we just have an all day Danger Room session?" 

"Because they don't work!" Roadblock snapped as he followed them out. 

"Dad…" Althea whined.

"Don't look at me!" Shipwreck whined. "I don't wanna go either!"

"Yeah are you sure we can't stay behind?" Low Light asked. 

"I hate the zoo…" Lance moaned. "And I hate dressing up!" 

"Hey as long as we don't have to clean up the cages…"Todd remarked as they left. 

"Okay Charles I didn't want to say this in front of the kids but are you out of your freaking mind?" Logan blinked. "Charles you are going to expose those rich friends of yours to…them?" 

"Charles why would you do something like this?" Ororo asked. "Especially after last night!" 

"Actually this was set in advance weeks ago," Xavier said.

"And you're just telling us now?" Logan snapped. "Charles didn't last Saturday's little fiasco teach you anything? You can't take the Misfits anywhere!" 

"It's not just the Misfits," Hank told him. "Our students have not exactly been acting like perfect angels lately either!" 

"Look I am trying to bolster our image here," Xavier told them. "And they're the ones who contacted me! They really seemed interested in learning about mutants so…"

"So naturally you thought it would be an opportunity to get some good PR," Hank came to the conclusion. 

"They have to learn how to behave in society," Xavier said. "I'll be going as well to help you keep an eye on them. This will be a good experience." 

"Chuck do the words 'recipe for disaster' have any meaning for you?" Logan asked. 

************************************************************************

"By all means go to the zoo," The shadowy figure laughed from his hidden base. "This promises to be very entertaining…" 

************************************************************************

"Stupid, stupid, stupid…" Lance fidgeted with his tie. "I hate this!" He was dressed in a smart brown suit. 

"This ain't exactly my cup of tea either Kiddo," Shipwreck fidgeted with his tie. He was wearing a dark blue suit. 

"Okay we don't have a choice about doing this," Tabitha said. She was wearing her nice peach dress. "But why are you Misfits doing this?"

"Simple, Hawk's making us," Low Light growled. He looked very different than usual. He didn't have on his hat and goggles so his curly blond hair and blue eyes were visible. He was also wearing a black suit. 

"It was either this or the Slaughterhouse," Lance grumbled. 

"You should have picked the Slaughterhouse!" Bobby said.

"We did," Wanda told him. "The Sarge told him that if we came the Renegades would quit and join the circus. So we're stuck here!" 

"Well we've arrived," Jean remarked as they all walked into the enclosure of the private garden, kept separate for entertaining large parties. "Now everyone behave yourselves!" 

"Yeah Jean try not to get drunk okay?" Althea grinned. She was wearing a deep blue dress and had her hair up.

Jean whirled around, her gold dress swirling. "That was an accident and you know it!" 

"Cool it you two," Logan hissed. He was the only one not wearing a suit. What he was wearing was a dark black outfit with a black leather jacket. "The point of all this is to do some good PR for mutants. So behave yourselves."

A headwaiter walked up to them. "You must be the Xavier party," He said tonelessly and unperturbed. "Right this way." He eyed Logan. "Sir…the instructions specifically stated that suits and ties were to be worn."

At this Logan had a glint in his eye and casually snicked out his claws. "On the other hand what you are wearing is perfectly acceptable," The man said without a beat. "This way…" 

"Logan…" Xavier groaned.

"Yeah this is gonna go well," Pietro snickered. He was wearing his favorite white tuxedo with a red carnation in the buttonhole. They walked into the enclosure. "Ah our adoring public!"

Everyone there was obviously from a well-bred family or extremely prominent station in life. And nearly of them were looking at the mutants with a look of extreme curiosity as well as distaste. "Uh…Professor are you sure about this?" Scott gulped.

"Just relax Scott," Xavier told him. "Everything's going to be fine."

"I am having the strongest urge to teleport right about now," Kurt whispered. 

"How do you think the rest of us feel?" Todd whispered back. 

"I haven't felt like this since I escaped the lab," Xi muttered. 

"Why don't we all go mingle?" Xavier asked cheerfully.

"Okay," Todd didn't miss a beat. "So how are you doin'?"

"Not with me," Xavier said. "With the others." 

"I dunno…" Fred looked around. "I feel really weird. Like I ain't even wanted here. There's nothing that will make me…Hey is that a buffet? SWEET!" He rushed over to the buffet table. 

"Oh dear," Roadblock sighed as he saw Fred grab a huge tray for himself. 

"Oh yeah like we didn't know that was gonna happen," Pietro mocked. "Well it's time for me to work my magic!" He zipped away into the crowd. His use of powers was startling to some of the people. 

"Is it just me or does this whole setup seem…I dunno…like somebody scripted it or something?" Althea said. "Mutants at a high society party at a zoo…"

"I thought I was the paranoid one," Lance smirked. 

"No you're the insane one," Todd remarked.

"I thought Wanda had that title?" Xi asked.

"What?" Wanda whirled on him.

"No Wanda's the angry one," Althea said. "This is how it goes: I'm the leader, Pietro is the egotist…"

"You got that right!" Todd nodded as he watched Pietro flirting with several attractive women. 

"Wanda's the angry one," Althea continued. "I mean being related to Pietro, Rogue and Magneto would make anyone angry!"

"You have a point," Wanda conceded. "Go on." 

"Lance is the insane one due to his infatuation with Kitty," Althea went on. 

"Not to mention his little visits from a certain imaginary coyote," Wanda grinned. 

"Wait a minute what about your sisters?" Lance asked. "There is no way I am crazier than they are!" 

"True but they don't really count as part of the main group," Althea said. "They're way too young to go on most missions." 

"Okay so Lance is the crazy one," Todd continued. "We got that down. Fred's the hungry one…" He watched Freddy mow through the buffet. "Xi's the…"

"Psychotic one," Lance grumbled.

"Hey!" Todd snapped.

"No actually that's pretty accurate," Xi told him. "I mean I am a genetically engineered assassin. Technically I have to be at least a little psychotic." 

"Okay so what does that make me?" Todd asked.

"The cute one!" Althea grinned as she grabbed him in a hug and kissed his cheek. 

"Oh god…" Lance groaned. "I'm gonna try to get some food before Blob eats it all!"

"Yes we might as well make the best of our situation and get a good meal out of it," Xi agreed. They both walked to the buffet table. 

"I'm going to go anywhere so I don't vomit all over the place," Wanda sighed as she left. 

The X-Men had already split up all over the room. Of course most of them were staying in clusters. "Look Jean's already trying to shzmooz 'em," Tabitha muttered to Sam and Ray. "Big surprise."

"Well they're just trying to put on a good show I guess," Sam shrugged.

"That's all this is," Tabitha grumbled. "A show for all the rich norms to see the strange mutants. Might as well be in a cage with all the other animals." 

"I hear ya. This place is nice but simply…not me," Ray shrugged. 

"I know," Tabitha grumbled. "Something tells me our efforts to liven this place up won't exactly be appreciated. This is dull. Like I'd want to make conversation with people who think I'm dirt!"

"I kinda know how you feel," Sam admitted. "I mean I'm from a farm in West Virginia! I ain't exactly comfortable with all these rich folks and stuff." 

"Hey how's it goin'?" Todd asked as he and Althea walked up to them. 

"How do you think?" Tabitha asked.

"I dunno what Xavier was on when he put this together," Todd grumbled as he saw some people look at them in disgust. "These ain't our kind of folks yo." 

"I don't know about you guys but we're ditching this," Althea said. "Being looked at like one of the exhibits is not my idea of a good time!"

"Hey I know where we can both be alone," Todd raised his eyebrows. "We can even look at the animals!"

"Great idea!" Tabitha said. "We'll join you! Come on Sam let's blow this joint," Tabitha grabbed him by the arm. 

"I am with you," Ray said. "But how do we sneak out?" 

"I saw an exit to the zoo out back. Now all we need is a distraction," Althea looked around.

"Lance would you please knock it off!" Kitty's voice grew louder. "Peter and I were just talking!" 

"Oh I'll bet!" Lance snapped. Already a crowd was forming. Xavier and Roadblock were trying to intercept the two boys in order to keep them from fighting. 

"That'll do," Althea said. They quickly ducked down the back and left. 

Meanwhile the others were trying to make the best of a bad situation. "Man these rich folks sure know about putting on the feed bag!" Fred munched down on a leg of lamb. 

"This stuff is good," Jamie admitted. "Hey look! They have an entire display made of sugar! I wonder if you can eat it?"

"Only one way to find out," Fred broke off a piece and gave him some. He took a bite for himself. "Not bad." 

"Blob you're not supposed to eat that!" Scott hissed. Then he was distracted by a high pitched scream. "Now what?" 

"Madam please I am not one of the exhibits!" Hank said. "There is no need to panic!" 

"Easy for him to say," One man muttered underneath his breath. 

"Well things are going quite well," Xavier looked around.

"Which party are you at?" Roadblock asked as he and Logan walked up to him. "We have a situation." 

"Some of the kids already snuck out," Logan growled. "Not that I blame 'em…"

"You want us to bring them back?" Roadblock asked.

"HOW DID ICE GET ALL OVER MY CHAIR?" A man's voice shouted. 

"Well…" Xavier started to say. 

"Hey you guys!" Fred shouted out with his mouth full. "You gotta try some of this stuff!" 

"Mine's a bit cold," Amara said as she used her powers to heat her tray up. Unfortunately she accidentally set some plants on fire. "Oops!"

"I got it!" Bobby froze it solid.

"As I was saying," Xavier said. "The point of this is to teach the children how to fit in society." He then heard another shriek and saw some people moving away from Xi. 

"What happened?" Roadblock asked him.

"I don't know," Xi shrugged. "I was merely answering a question. They wanted to know about me so I told them." 

"Did you also describe some of your training missions with Cobra?" Roadblock's eyes widened.

"They did ask," Xi said innocently. 

"What does that…?" Xavier started to say.

"Don't ask!" Roadblock groaned. "Let's just say they tended to get a little bloody. It's a tale not for the squeamish." 

"STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE YOU!" An older man shouted at Pietro. There was a very young woman with them. 

"Wife? She looks like she's still in high school!" Pietro remarked winking at her. 

"WHY YOU LITTLE…" The man tried to tackle Pietro but he ran away laughing. 

"On the other hand…" Xavier sighed. "Maybe having some of them not mingle as much isn't such a bad idea…" 


	10. It's a Zoo Out There

**It's a Zoo Out There**

"Whaddya mean I can't get a beer?" Logan snapped at the waiter. 

"Logan please," Xavier rubbed his temples. "Not now."

The waiter beat a hasty retreat. "But I need a beer," Logan protested.

"We need to go find the other students and bring them back," Xavier said. 

"Good idea," Shipwreck piped up. "I'll do it!" He took off before anyone could stop him.

"He's not going to come back is he?" Xavier sighed.

"No he isn't," Roadblock groaned. 

"Look at least one of us needs to go out and find those little maniacs and bring 'em back here before they cause any trouble," Logan said.

The sound of something breaking filled the room. "Oops," They heard Jamie's voice. "That wasn't real crystal was it?" 

"Let me rephrase that," Logan rolled his eyes. "Before they cause any more trouble!"

"Just be discreet okay?" Xavier asked.

"Don't worry about it Charles," Logan waved. He then saw the unlucky waiter. "HEY YOU! WHERE'S MY BEER?" He went to track down the poor soul.

"And you're worried about the trouble the kids will get into?" Roadblock looked at him. 

"I knew I should have left Logan at home," Xavier groaned. 

************************************************************************

"Oh look at all the baby ducks!" Tabitha squealed. "They are so cute!" 

Tabitha and Sam had split up from the others and had wandered into the petting zoo. They had found some animal feed in one of those little boxes you put quarters in order to get the food. Of course Tabitha merely used her time bombs to blow it up and now all the ducklings were having a feeding frenzy. So they were sitting there feeding them. 

"I didn't know you liked animals," Sam laughed as a duckling nuzzled his hand. 

"I always wanted a pet," Tabitha sighed. "But with my dad and all…He used to say two mouths to feed was more than enough. He made it pretty clear that it was a burden taking care of my mom and me. And then my powers kicked in. You can imagine what happened next."

"I'm sorry," Sam said. "I know what that's like, not having enough. But for some reason my dad and mom ended up doing the opposite. Yeah they'd gripe about money and how they couldn't afford to take care of any animals but ours on the farm. Yet somehow every sick or injured animal in the county would wind up at our place and my folks along with all my brothers and sisters would end up helping it. I guess my folks are too tenderhearted to throw anything out. Not even me."

"Sounds like your folks are real nice," Tabitha said. 

"They are," Sam sighed. "I never told you how my powers surfaced did I?" 

Tabitha shook her head. "No you didn't."

"Well," Sam began. "Things were tight at home. My dad and older brother worked in the mines. I decided to work with 'em."

"But you're only…" Tabitha's eyes widened. "In the mines? Aren't they…dark and…unhealthy?"

"Dangerous? You got that right!" Sam said. "My first day on the job me and my dad got trapped in a cave in. The only thing I could think of was that we needed to get out. The next thing I knew…Boom!" 

"Wow," Tabitha said.

"The minute we got back my Pa told me I was never to work in the mines again," Sam said. "He was pretty freaked by what happened but he took it as a sign that I wasn't supposed to live my life as a miner. The very next day the Professor and Scott come to my house and here I am." 

"Humph," Tabitha shook her head. "I knew it."

"What?"

"You're a born hero," She grinned. Then she sobered. "Some people are like that. They're just naturally good inside. While others…"

"Oh come on you don't think of yourself like that do you?" Sam's eyes widened. 

"Well you gotta admit that I don't exactly have the most spotless past."

"That has nothing to do with it!" Sam snapped. "You were in a bad situation and made a few mistakes. That's all. Hey look at the former Brotherhood, even they can change! So you have nothing to worry about." 

Several ducklings clamored and climbed up into Tabitha's lap. "See animals don't lie," Sam pointed out. "They know a good person when they see one." 

"Yeah animals are a lot more honest than people," Tabitha sighed. "And a lot nicer too. They don't make people feel like they're trash." 

"Is that what people did to you?" Sam asked softly.

"Oh come on Sammy! Don't tell me you never heard the rumors!" She looked at him. "Heck even that little episode where I tried to make Kitty jealous I could tell what everyone else was thinking!" 

"I never thought of you like that," Sam told her. "Okay maybe a little loud, but…" 

Tabitha looked at him as if she saw him for the first time. "Really?"

"Well maybe you could have handled that situation with Kitty better," Sam admitted. "But then again considering her relationship with Lance and Peter she's not exactly perfect as well. And Ray kind of created the situation in the first place by acting like a jerk so…well I guess it's safe to say there's plenty of blame to go around."

"It just all got into one huge mess!" Tabitha groaned. "Story of my life!" 

"Yeah but that part's over now," Sam put his hand on her shoulder. "Think of it this way…time to start a new chapter." 

"Hey what are you guys doing?" Ray walked over. 

"Feeding the ducks," Sam told him. 

"Yeah right," Ray scoffed. "With Boom Boom! Not likely!"

"That's all we're doing!" Tabitha stood up and glared at him. 

"I meant you were probably blowing them up or something, Geeze!" Ray held up his hands. "I mean even Sam's not that stupid enough to fool around with you!" 

That's when Sam punched him in the face. "Don't you ever talk like that about her again!" He snarled. "You hear me?" 

"What did I say?" Ray asked, astonished. 

"You sure are a sweet guy Sammy," Tabitha smiled. 

Sam blushed as she gave him a peck on the cheek. Ray caught this. "What the heck is going on?" 

"It's called being a decent human being!" Tabitha snapped at him as they walked away. "Something that you obviously know nothing about!" 

************************************************************************

"As sweet as that is, this is getting far too dull," The Mysterious figure spoke. He pressed a button. "There…that should liven things up a little…" 

************************************************************************

"SNIFFY!" Todd shouted cheerfully as he bounded up to the pen. "Hi Sniffy! Hi!" The diminutive giraffe ambled over happily and licked Todd's face through the bars. 

"That's your pet giraffe?" Althea asked. "He's so cute!" 

"Yeah we're real pals," Todd nodded. "Hey Sniffy! Meet my girl Althea! Say hi Sniffy!"

"Time to say bye Sniffy!" Ray shouted as he, Sam and Tabitha ran by.

"What's going on?" Todd asked. 

"Quick!" Shipwreck ran by. "Everyone hide! Xavier's sent out a search party!" 

"Who?" Althea shouted as they ran. 

"Wolverine and Low Light!" Shipwreck shouted.

"You called?" Logan growled as the two of them appeared from behind a bush. 

"Busted!" Todd groaned.

"Not quite," Logan sighed. "We've decided to hang out with you guys instead of sending you back."

"You don't wanna go back there either huh?" Sam asked.

"Bingo," Low Light nodded. "Plus it would be easier keeping an eye on you guys out here. What Xavier doesn't know won't bother him. We can hide out here and relax." 

"I don't think that's an option anymore," Althea pointed. "Look!" Sure enough several of the patrons were walking through the zoo. "Well I guess this is the part of the party where they all go look at the animals."

"They did close down the park for this event," Logan grunted. 

"As you can see Mr. Lazo there are many different kinds of mutations," Xavier was explaining to a stocky bearded man. "Some of which are more difficult to deal with than others." 

"And that means that some mutants are more difficult to deal with," Mr. Lazo sniffed. 

"Not necessarily," Xavier said patiently.

"Who's that guy?" Logan asked.

"He works for the Department of Education," Hank walked up to him. "Not to mention the fact that he is a prominent figure in Bayville Society."

"So that's why Chuck was so eager to do this," Shipwreck shook his head. 

"Mutants may have difficulties with their mutations but they can learn to control them to a degree," Xavier was trying to explain.

"Really?" Mr. Lazo pointed. "Does **that** look like someone who's under control to you?" 

Inside the cage was Todd hanging from a tree, feeding Sniffy some leaves. "Now eat 'em all up Sniffy!" 

"Toad!" Xavier barked. "Get out of there!"

"Why? I ain't doing anything wrong! I'm just feeding him!" Todd said defiantly.

"They both belong in a cage," Mr. Lazo growled. 

"Hey!" Tabitha stomped her foot.

"Mr. Lazo please," Xavier tried to diffuse the situation. Already a huge crowd of partygoers and mutants were gathering around them. "The purpose of this party is to bring mutants and normal humans together. Let's not spoil it with hate."

"You mutants can spoil it enough without our help!" A man shouted. 

"Do you know why people really hate mutants?" Mr. Lazo asked. "It's not because you're not normal. It's because that when you're around nothing normal happens! Disaster and insanity follows you wherever you go!" 

"That's not true!" Jean protested.

"Really?" Mr. Lazo glared at her. "What about all the incidents at Bayville High, before you destroyed it!" 

"That was an accident," Xavier said, noticing Lance's face darken. "It was a situation that was beyond our control. Cobra attacked us in the middle of the dance. And…"

"And those terrorists never would have showed up if the mutants weren't there in the first place!" Mr. Lazo said. "By hiding in our schools you endangered the lives of all the other students!"

"That wasn't our fault!" Jean told him.

"No it wasn't," Mr. Lazo said. "Just like the Sentinel trashing downtown wasn't your fault. Just like those monsters appearing at the Sadie Hawkins Dance and running amok wasn't your fault. Just like the damage you create when you're fighting other mutants isn't your fault. I've heard about a few incidents at a party you threw just last Saturday. I'm sure that wasn't your fault either. Face it Mr. Xavier, you aren't normal not just because of your powers, but you are simply incapable of being normal. Trouble follows you no matter where you go!" 

"That's not…" Xavier was about to protest when a rumbling sound distracted him. "True…?" His eyes widened as dozens of kangaroos came hopping their way.

"RUN!" Someone screamed. The party guests raced to avoid being trampled by the herd. 

"I don't believe it! This party wasn't going well before!" Kurt groaned. "Now a stampede of kangaroos!" 

"What did you guys do now?" Scott snapped. 

"We didn't do nothin'!" Todd snapped. 

"Hey it's not our fault this zoo has faulty locks!" Althea snapped. 

"They're right," Logan said. "They were with us the whole time. They couldn't have done it!" 

"Let's assign blame later!" Jean shouted. She used her telekinesis to lift Xavier out of the way. "We have to stop this!" 

"One kangaroo corral coming up!" Bobby said making an ice barrier, trapping several of them. However it wasn't high enough and some got out. One of them landed right on Mr. Lazo's back. 

"Hey those things can jump genius!" Ray snapped.

"Sorry!" Bobby snapped, making a larger pen. "Now we gotta corral 'em!" 

"How the heck do you corral a bunch of Kangaroos?" Rogue asked. 

"Well we can't fry 'em," Remy said. "That'll hurt 'em!"

"Oh yes heaven forbid those stupid hopping menaces don't get hurt!" Mr. Lazo stood up. A kangaroo hopped in back of him and bit him in the behind. "YEOOWWWW!"

"Oh that is not going to help us," Hank sighed. "What in the world?"

"Go Sniffy Go!" Todd called out as he rode the giraffe. "Yahooo! Come on Sniffy! Let's round 'em up!" 

"For once Toad you have the right idea!" Pietro ran off. 

"Do something!" One society lady shrieked at the mutants. 

"We're trying!" Jean said as she managed to lift one kangaroo and put it in Bobby's ice pen. 

"Yeah this is one situation we aren't exactly prepared for!" Amara said as she and the others tried to corral the kangaroos without hurting them. "Oh my god! Are there more of them over there?" 

"How many stupid kangaroos are there in this zoo?" Ray grumbled as one started to chase him. 

"Yippee ki yi yay!" Todd shouted as he rode the giraffe. 

"Toad for crying out loud…" Roadblock groaned.

"Tally ho!" Pietro rode by on a zebra.

"View Hallooooo!" Shipwreck rode by on a horse from the petting zoo. 

"Oh not you guys too!" Roadblock cried. 

"That's it!" Low Light threw up his hands. "They're gone! The party is a disaster and there are kangaroos hopping all over the place! Now what do we do?" 

"I know where there's a bar nearby," Logan said.

"I'm right behind you," Low Light said, following him. 

Pretty soon the kangaroos were all penned up. However Todd, Pietro and Shipwreck all insisted on riding their animals. "Alvers will you get those maniacs under control! They're making things worse!" 

"Oh really?" Lance pointed. "They're not the only ones! Look! Over there!" 

A herd of Jamie clones thundered by screaming happily. "Oh god it's a stampede!" Scott shouted. 

"This is gonna be even worse than the kangaroos," Rogue groaned.

"See what I mean?" Mr. Lazo growled at Xavier. "I knew I should have never have allowed you to talk me into this!"

"What do you mean?" Xavier looked at him. "I didn't call you. You called me. Someone from your office said that you were interested in…"

"The hell I did!" Mr. Lazo snapped. "Like I'd want to hang around mutants? It was your group that called me!" 

"Wait a minute," Xavier frowned. "If you didn't set this up and I didn't…then who did?" 

"Excuse me sir," A man walked up to them. "I hate to interrupt this conversation but I am the curator of this zoo and…" He pointed to the destruction around them. "I'm afraid there are a lot of damages to be paid for."

"Talk to him!" Mr. Lazo snapped. "It's their fault anyway!" He stormed away. 

"How much do I have to 'contribute' to make this episode go away?" Xavier sighed.

"A lot," The curator looked at him. 

"When will I learn to listen to Logan?" Xavier sighed as he got out his checkbook. 

Meanwhile the Jamie clones were still running amok. By this time several of the X-Men and Misfits were yelling at each other, blaming each other for the damage. Pietro was chasing Bobby around on the zebra. Rogue was screaming at Wanda and shoved her into a fountain. This caused Althea to create a tidal wave from the fountain's waters to drench all the X-Men. Soon all the kids were fighting while Hank and Roadblock were playing cards.

"Aren't you gonna break this up?" One lady asked them. 

"Not just yet," Hank sighed.

"Yeah gotta let the kids tire themselves out first," Roadblock told her. "That way we won't get killed!" 

"I think we have our first two casualties over there," Hank pointed at Scott and Lance walking towards them. They were dirty and their clothes were torn. They both collapsed on the ground next to them. "Well I see you two beat the stuffing out of each other again."

"Didn't….get…a chance…" Scott gasped. "Going to…kill Jamie…"

"Let me guess," Roadblock sighed. "In trying to corral Multiple you two got in over your head and ended up getting run over instead?"

"Bin….go," Scott groaned. 

"I hate the zoo…" Lance groaned. "It reminds me too much of home!"


	11. Get Your Mojo On

**Get Your Mojo On!**

"So now we have witnessed the latest escapade of the X-Men and the Misfits," The shadowy figure spoke. "What more zany adventures will happen to them? Find out next time on…THE UNREAL WORLD! THE MUTANT CHRONICLES! A MOJO PRODUCTION!" A huge pale spineless blob on top of a strange spider like contraption appeared in the spotlight. 

"Okay where's my applause?" Mojo folded his arms. "Where is my applause? You were supposed to cue the applause right after I say 'A Mojo Production'! Where is that sound guy? Fire him! Preferably into the sun!" 

"You already did that sir," A white haired man in a smart red and blue uniform told him. "Ten minutes ago when he said he needed a break."

"Oh yeah, so I did," Mojo said. "My bad! Oh well, its not like we can't replace him. In fact ya know, we don't need the applause machine. It's sounding kind of fake anyway. No substitute for the real thing, right guys?" He pushed a button opening a curtain. Behind the curtain was a huge stadium filled with strange creatures. A large 'Applause' sign lit up and all of them started clapping and cheering. "They love me Major Domo! They really love me!"

"That they do sir," He nodded. 

"I told you that sending them to the zoo was gonna be fun!" Mojo laughed. "And it was!"

"Hilarious sir." 

"I told you these X-Men were great! Didn't I Major Domo?" Mojo leered at the camera.

"Yes sir," Major Domo agreed. "That you did sir."

"And the kangaroos were great! Weren't they great? It was so original wasn't it?"

"A stroke of genius sir." 

"I tell ya I know talent when I see it, and the moment I heard of these X-Men I said to myself: 'Self! It would be a crime to waste such talent like this!' Think of the audience, think of the awards! Think of the ratings! And don't forget the merchandising! Like toys, t-shirts, commemorative glasses! And speaking of glasses I want one with a diet soda in it!"

"I'll have someone get it for you sir." 

"Let's look at the footage we shot today!" Mojo turned on the monitors in front of him. There were scenes of Scott and Lance getting trampled by the Jamie clones. There were also scenes of Wanda and Rogue facing off in the park. Todd riding off with Althea on the giraffe into the sunset. There was even scenes back at the mansion where Ororo was desperately trying to keep the Triplets under control. 

"I'm telling ya, you can't buy this kind of material!" Mojo laughed. "Reality television is the greatest thing to happen to TV since the invention of the remote control! You don't have to pay writers. You don't need to hire actors to memorize dozens of lines they're just gonna screw up anyway! Just set up a couple of dozen cameras and watch the fun! It's genius!"

"Uh sir…" A purple bug eyed alien shuffled in. "Forgive me for disturbing you your Mojoness…" 

"I am such a genius!" Mojo didn't even notice him. A cell phone rang. He snapped his fingers and Major Domo handed him it. "Hello? Boobala! How are you? Give me the digits! That's fantastic! Those ratings are great! I love it! Hey let's do lunch sometime! Give my love to the misses!" He hung up. "Another night of spectacular ratings!"

"Uh sir…" The alien tried to speak again.

"I smell Emmy!" Mojo laughed. He looked at a wall filled with trophies and pictures of himself with several 'celebrities'. "Now where am I gonna put this one? I could always attach it to one of my cars. Makes a great car ornament…"

"Uh sir I believe we have a visitor," Major Domo coughed. He pointed to the alien. 

"Okay are you the guy in charge of getting me my diet soda?" Mojo asked. "Unless you are, I don't wanna talk to you!" 

"Uh sir…" The alien looked very nervous. "You know that little…problem we had under control? Uh…it isn't any more."

"Look tell the lawyers that I had no idea that contestant had a criminal record!" Mojo snapped. "I mean is it my fault that people are so dishonest and don't fill out a form properly. I specifically put in a section that asked if a person has ever committed a felony! Besides, so the guy robbed a couple of hundred banks! It will generate some publicity anyway and…." 

"No sir…the other problem," The alien said. "He…got out."

"Who got out?" Mojo growled. "You are not talking about who I think you're talking about? Are you?" 

"If you mean Longshot, yes sir," The alien gulped. Mojo gave him a withering stare. "It's not my fault sir. I'm not even in the security division! I think I'm gonna run away now!" And he did. 

"Oh dear," Major Domo sighed. 

"He got out? He got **out? We just got him back not even half an hour ago!**" Mojo shouted.

"I know sir," Major Domo said calmly.

"WHO THE HELL IS IN CHARGE OF SECURITY AROUND HERE?" Mojo threw up his hands. "I TELL YOU WE SERIOUSLY NEED TO HAVE SOME SCREENINGS OF PERSONELL! AGGGHHHH!" 

"Sir remember your blood pressure," Major Domo told him. "You must stay calm."

"I AM CALM!" Mojo started throwing things around the room. "I AM PERFECTLY CALM! I'M A SEA OF TRANQILITY COMPARED TO WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IF THIS KEEPS UP!" 

"Oh dear," Major Domo sighed. 

"You know how Mojoworld works!" Mojo screamed. "The only thing keeping those brain dead couch potatoes from waking up and smelling the coffee is their addiction to television. The more programs I make that they like, the more they watch. The more they watch, the more likely they buy my stuff. The more stuff they buy, the richer I get! The richer I get, the more shares I buy of all the corporations of Mojoworld. All three of them. The more shares I own, the more I control the corporations ergo the entire dimension of Mojoworld and that allows me to control everything! Got it?"

"Very clear sir," Major Domo nodded. 

"So if the audience gets unhappy, I get unhappy!" Mojo shouted. "And for some bizarre reason the one thing in the world that is guaranteed to keep the audience happy is that loser Longshot!" 

"He does have that talent for pleasing people sir."

"He also has a talent for screwing up my life! I made him and I can break him! Okay technically it wasn't me that made him, it was one of my scientists but you know what I mean! I own him like I own every other creature with a spine on this world! And a few without spines, like my accountants…" 

"I am well aware of that sir." 

"Where the hell did he get the idea that slaves should be free to do what they please?" Mojo groaned. "And worse…get **paid **for doing their work! Brrrrrr!" He shuddered. 

"You know sir you could arrange an…accident," Major Domo coughed. 

"Oh I want to! Believe me I want to! As much as I'd looooooooove to blow his brains out I can't!" Mojo snapped. "Not to mention that pesky 'No Killing the Talent' clause in that jerk Arize's contract! Most genetic scientists would be perfectly happy to scrap some of their projects and start again. But I had to make a deal with the one weirdo with a conscience! Why? Why did I do that?"

"Because he was cheap sir," Major Domo pointed out.

"The one saving grace," Mojo grumbled. "I tell you one thing that is the last time I negotiate any deals at a New Year's Eve party!" 

The sound of explosions rocked the building. "Great! Just great! Three guesses who **that** is?" Mojo threw up his hands. He looked at the monitors and watched several creatures fighting a teenage boy with long blond hair. He grabbed a microphone. "GET HIM! GET HIM! NO DON'T DO…THAT'S A TRAP YOU STUPID! NO! NOT THE WIND MACHINE! YOU MORONS JUST CATCH HIM! DON'T LET HIM GET NEAR THE PORTAL MACHINE! DON'T LET HIM GET…" He banged his head against the console. "He got away. I can't believe it! This can't get any worse!" 

"Sir…" Major Domo coughed. "I think you'd better take a look at what coordinates that portal was set too." 

Mojo read the console. "Oh…It just got worse." 

"I'm afraid so sir," Major Domo sighed. 

"That little blonde bozo is going to ruin everything!" Mojo screamed. "FIND HIM! HUNT HIM DOWN! AND BRING HIM BACK TO ME! AND WHERE'S MY DIET SODA?" 

**Three guesses where Longshot went folks, and the first two don't count! **


	12. A New Friend Drops In

**A New Friend Drops In**

Meanwhile things were not going well at the mansion. The Misfits had returned home that night. Currently Xavier was giving all of them a lecture on working together. "But Professor it wasn't our fault!" Scott defended. "They started…"

"Do not keep saying 'They started it' because we all know that both groups started it!" Xavier shouted. "I can't understand why you can't get along with each other!"

"It wasn't all their fault Charles," Logan told him. "I mean things were going…well pretty good until those flaming kangaroos got loose!"

"Yeah and none of us did that," Tabitha said. "Not even the Misfits! How did they get loose anyway?" 

"I don't know," Xavier moaned as he massaged his head with his fingers, indicating he had a huge migraine. "Just like I don't know who really sent us that invitation to the party!"

"Maybe the same person who sent the invitations let the kangaroos out?" Forge asked. 

"Gee Forge did you figure that out all by yourself?" Logan said sarcastically. 

"In other words somebody set us up!" Scott snapped. "But why?" 

"I dunno, maybe they wanted to enforce the popular stereotype that mutants cause nothing but trouble," Amara said.

"It worked," Rogue grumbled.

"Yes it did work," Xavier growled. "Whoever did do it counted on us all to get into a fight with the Misfits, which I'm sorry to say wasn't that surprising. Well at least you didn't all decide to run off and hide in a bar." He glared at Logan.

"They didn't have any beers! What else was I gonna do?" Logan asked. 

"Look Professor we're sorry about what happened," Jean said. "We didn't mean to blow this opportunity. It's just when the Misfits are concerned…" 

"As far as the Misfits are concerned you are all just going to have to try harder to get along with them! Sooner or later you will all snap and learn to work together!" Xavier shouted. "Excuse me, please…I think I need an aspirin."

Bobby whispered. "I think he's already snapped!" 

"I heard that!" Xavier snapped.

"I'm afraid you are going to need that aspirin," Ororo walked in with Hank. 

"There's been a disturbing incident on the news we think you should see," Hank turned on the television. 

The newscaster spoke somberly as pictures of a burning building showed. "For those who have just joined in this is the scene in Indonesia where a chemical research plant was reportedly attacked by mutants. Fortunately no one was seriously injured but the plant was seriously damaged. Two of the assailants have been described as extremely dangerous. One had the ability to control fire and the other is described as a beast like man with long blond hair and sharp claws. There may have been several more accomplices. The attack apparently only took twenty minutes from start to finish. No one knows what if anything was stolen during this attack or the reason for it. Police are investigating." 

"That sounds like Sabertooth and Pyro," Jean said. 

"Yeah we should have known Old Bucket Head wouldn't have stayed quiet forever," Rogue growled. 

"We should have been there," Scott pounded his fist on the table. "We should have fought them!"

"Scott they showed up half a world away," Jean told him. "And even if we did manage to get there they got away too fast for us to do anything."

"What were they doing there in the first place?" Kurt asked. 

"Who knows?" Xavier sighed. "But I fear we may find out soon enough." 

"For all we know it was Magneto who set us up to get us out of the way," Hank shrugged. "Who's to say what goes on in his mind. But until he makes his next move we can't do anything." 

"With kangaroos?" Logan raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't seem to be old Maggie's style."

"It does sound a little like Pyro," Peter said. "He was always one with the practical jokes."

"Yeah but not like this," Remy told him. "Besides he was in Indonesia, remember?" 

"We'll discuss this later," Xavier wheeled away with the rest of the adults. "The staff and I will discuss our next move. And you can all discuss ways of getting along with the Misfits!" 

"Well this has been a great day for mutants," Remy said sarcastically as he saw pictures of anti-mutant demonstrations in Indonesia and around the world. He shut the television off. "We screw up with high society and Magneto ticks off another country!" 

"Maybe people are right," Kitty sighed as she plonked down in a chair. "Trouble does follow us everywhere." 

"Kitty don't talk like that," Jean sighed.

"Well considering all the evidence it does seem to be true!" Kitty protested. 

"Look I know as X-Men our lives are different," Scott said. "But part of our mission is to show people that despite our powers we're just like everyone else."

"Yeah if everyone else happens to have disasters show up whenever they're around," Rogue grumbled. 

"I'm serious Rogue," Scott stood in front of them. "We are no different than everybody else! I know things are rough right now but we have to take this one day at a time. We just need to have one quiet normal night without the Misfits around. You'll see. With them out of the mansion things will be just fine." 

Just then from out of nowhere a purple portal opened up in the living room. Out from the portal fell a teenage boy with blonde hair. He was wearing a black outfit with a wild star symbol on the right side. He fell right on top of Scott just as the portal closed. "Wow what a ride," He scratched his head.

"So much for a normal night," Kitty groaned. 

"Wow this place is bigger than I thought," The boy looked around excitedly. 

"Excuse me whoever you are but could you please get off my spleen?" Scott moaned.

"Hi there!" The boy said cheerfully. "My name's Longshot!" He got off of Scott's back. "Sorry about that." 

"Yeah…" Scott let Longshot help him up. It was then he noticed that the boy's hand had only four fingers. "What the…? How did you get here?" 

"Are you a mutant?" Bobby asked.

"Gee Bobby he jumps out of a hole in the middle of thin air and he's only got four fingers," Rogue said sarcastically. "What else could he be?" 

"Well technically Rogue I'm an artificially manufactured humanoid," Longshot sheepishly scratched his head. "But I do have mutated DNA. A lot like your friend Xi over here. So in a way I guess I am a mutant." 

"Okay how did you know our names?" Rogue asked.

"It's a long story," Longshot started to explain. "You see…" 

"What's going on here?" Logan burst in. "What the…who's he?"

"Hi Wolverine!" Longshot waved. "I'm Longshot!" 

"How did you get in here?" Logan asked. "And how did you know my name?" 

"He popped out through a purple hole," Kitty sighed. 

"Actually that was a dimensional rift," Longshot told her. "I'm from another dimension." 

"I see," Xavier wheeled in. 

"What is this? Grand Central Station?" Rogue groaned. "First the Misfits and their stupid teleportation machine and now this guy?" 

"Calm down all of you," Xavier spoke. "Longshot is it? I am Professor Charles Xavier…" 

"Well actually Professor X I know all about you," Longshot interrupted. "That's kind of why I'm here. I need your help. Do you mind if I stay here and crash a while?" 

"And why would we help you Blondie?" Logan grunted. "Give us one good reason?" 

"Well I'm on the run from the sadistic lunatic dictator that's videotaping your lives for profit without your permission," Longshot told him. "That's a good reason."

"Come again?" Logan raised an eyebrow. 


	13. Thursday is Guest Star Day

**Thursday is Guest Star Day**

"Amazing," Hank was examining Longshot in the med. lab. "His bones are hollow, like a bird's."

"They wanted me to be very light and flexible," Longshot explained. "Easier to do stunts and stuff. My agility is one of my powers. The other one is well…luck."

"Luck?" Hank asked.

"I can't really explain it," Longshot shrugged. "It's whenever I'm in a situation I think about how it could be better for me and it just happens. It's this weird feeling I get inside." 

"In other words you have the ability to alter probability to give yourself good luck," Hank nodded. 

"And I need all of it to fight Mojo," Longshot told him. 

"So you're saying this guy makes you perform and stuff against your will?" Kitty asked. "That's awful!" 

"Tell me about it, and worst of all we don't get paid!" Longshot told her. Then his stomach growled. "I'm really sorry to bother you but do you have anything to eat? It's been a while." 

"Sure, come on," Kitty took him by the arm and dragged him to the kitchen where most of the other X-Men were. "Jean and I made dinner tonight!"

"That sounds great!" Longshot smiled as he sat down. 

"I think I'd better warn you Longshot," Bobby said. "These two aren't exactly the best cooks on the planet!"

"Shut up!" Kitty snapped. 

"Here Longshot I made some stew," Jean put a bowl before him. 

Longshot took a bite and a strange look came over his face. "It's an acquired taste," Scott smirked.

"Shut up Scott!" Jean glared at him. 

"Oh this…this is….GOOD!" Longshot yelled happily. He then proceeded to chow down some more. Immediately the bowl was emptied. "Can I have some more please?" 

"Oh my god…" Remy's jaw fell.

"Talk about your cast iron stomachs," Scott gulped.

"Ignore them!" Kitty said giving him another bowl. "They just don't appreciate good home cooking!"

"We appreciate it," Bobby said. "It's just the two of you never make it!" 

Both Kitty and Jean responded to this dumping the salad on his head. "Oh well in that case you won't mind skipping dinner!" Jean snapped.

"The nerve of some people!" Kitty fumed. 

"You should know to keep your mouth shut by now," Scott snickered.

"Look who's talking!" Jean snapped, throwing some biscuits at him.

"Hey watch it with those things!" Scott snapped. 

"Yeah you could seriously hurt someone," Remy remarked. "Especially if Kitty made them."

"Let's get 'em," Kitty said to Jean with a gleam in her eye.

"With pleasure," Jean remarked as they started throwing food at the boys. 

***********************************************************************

The next morning the X-Men were greeted with the smell of pancakes baking. To everyone's surprise Longshot was cooking. 

"You've been so nice to me. I thought the least I could do is make breakfast," Longshot said as he effortlessly flipped the pancakes.

"Thank you Longshot," Jean grinned at him. "It's nice to see a guy with manners. Unlike some people!" She glared at Scott. 

"Oh brother," Scott muttered. 

"What's your problem?" Kurt asked as he ate. 

"Haven't you noticed that ever since last night nearly all the girls have been giving him a lot of attention?" Scott told him. He pointed to Jean, Kitty, Rogue, and Amara hovering around him. 

"Dude, he makes good pancakes," Kurt told him as he ate. "Lighten up!" 

"You wouldn't say that if Amanda was here," Peter told him. 

"Remy thinks you're imagining things," Remy said.

"Oh really?" Peter pointed. 

Remy's face took on a strange look when he saw Rogue laughing at some joke with Longshot. "It's a coincidence," He said. "She's just being nice to him."

"She's not nice to you and she likes you," Peter told him.

"The man has a point," Scott said. 

"What point?" Remy huffed. "Just because you and Peter here have lost your touch with your girls don't mean that Remy lost his. Observe." He got up and walked over to Rogue. "Hey chere, how bout Remy help you?" 

"If you mean by helping that you get to eat extra pancakes, forget about it," Rogue told him. 

"Remy just wanted some sweets from his sweet," Remy grinned. 

"Go look in the phone books under 'rest homes' because a line that lame needs to retire!" Rogue told him. 

"Rogue can I have some powdered sugar please?" Longshot asked.

"Sure thing," Rogue said sweetly and handed him some.

"Hey!" Remy protested. "What about me?"

"Here!" She took another box and dumped the contents on his head. "That sweet enough for ya?" 

"I guess we're not the only ones who lost their touch huh?" Scott grinned as Remy slunk back to the table. 

"Okay it is official," Remy growled. "That Longshot the second most annoying person Remy has ever met!" 

"Second?" Scott asked.

"Hello good people!" Pietro zipped in. 

"Oh yeah," Scott waved. "I see what you mean." 

"Well we're back," Althea said as she and the rest of the Misfits entered the kitchen. 

"What? No Triplets or Babies?" Rogue folded her arms.

"They're back home with most of the other adults," Althea told her. "But my dad's here today."

"Hey do I smell pancakes?" Shipwreck poked his head in.

"Notice how they always seem to come around mealtimes?" Scott grumbled. 

"Don't worry!" Longshot told them. "I made plenty!" 

"Who's he?" Lance asked. "What's going on?" 

"This is Longshot," Scott sighed. "Apparently he's a being from an alternate dimension. He escaped here because he thought we could help him save his fellow captives from this guy named Mojo."

"A guy who has no concept of the word 'privacy'," Kurt told him. "Turns out this Mojo's been videotaping our lives for some kind of TV show." 

"Wait a minute are you saying that people in another dimension are watching our lives as some form of entertainment?" Lance asked. 

"Yup," Longshot nodded. 

"For how long?" Lance asked.

"Since the day Kurt first came to the mansion and Scott saved Todd's butt from Duncan," Longshot told him.

"Wonderful," Scott groaned. "So much for secrets!"

"That's unbelievable!" Fred grunted. "Imagine invading our privacy like that!"

"That's nothing," Longshot waved. "You should see what the fans write and draw about you on the Internet!" 

After a quick breakfast it was decided that there should be a brief meeting before discussing which options should be taken in order to help Longshot. While Forge and Multiple were in the kitchen taking care of the dishes, everyone else, including the adults was in the living room. Several of the girls were sitting or standing around Longshot talking happily while most of the guys were glaring at them. 

"Okay it's not just me this time is it?" Lance growled in annoyance. 

"No it isn't," Scott grumbled. 

"I don't believe this!" Peter grumbled. He glared at Lance. "You are bad enough!" 

"Boy you guys really got shoved aside huh?" Tabitha said as she and Althea walked over to them. 

"I'm amazed you ain't drooling all over him," Sam blinked. 

"Hey there's only room for one blonde bombshell around here and that's me!" Tabitha snorted. "Besides, he's way to flashy for me." 

"She doesn't like anybody upstaging her," Althea snickered to Todd. "Although I admit Toddles you would look great in that outfit he's wearing." 

"Aw Al…" Todd blushed. "Not in front of the guys yo!" 

"So where is this guy from again?" Fred scratched his head. 

"Mojoworld," Longshot told him. "Where it's ruler, Mojo, has been showing your lives on a television show for profit."

"He only explained it to us three times before, duh!" Pietro rolled his eyes. 

"Wait a minute," Todd scratched his head. "Let me get this straight, this guy Mojo…he's been watching us all on camera since day one right?" 

"Yeah," Scott said.

"And he's got this show about all of us on 24-7 right?" Todd asked.

"Uh huh," Scott continued. 

"And there are all these hidden inter dimensional cameras watching our every move right?" Todd asked.

"Yes," Longshot nodded.

" Well, then wouldn't this guy know by now that you're here?" Todd asked.

At that very moment another purple portal opened in the room. "Oh man I forgot about that!" Longshot moaned. 

Out popped a woman with six arms dressed in a white uniform with a bizarre helmet on her head and quite a few swords by her sides. "Took you long enough to figure that out didn't ya?" She snapped. 

"Who the heck is she?" Rogue asked.

"That's Spiral, one of Mojo's most feared and dangerous henchman," Longshot told her. "Or is it henchwoman? Henchperson? I can never get that right." 

"Okay kid," Spiral growled. "It's time to go home." 


	14. Warped

**Warped**

"Forget it Spiral!" Longshot snapped. "I'm not going back with you!"

"Yeah like you have a choice," She snickered. "The boss ain't too happy with you spilling the beans to his latest pet project here!" 

"Yeah?" Logan growled at her. "Well we ain't too happy about having our lives taped for people's entertainment!"

"You should be flattered," Spiral looked at him. "You're the number one show in your time slot. Highest ratings people have seen in years. I should be so lucky!" 

"You're the one who's gonna need the luck," Rogue growled. 

"If you want to take Longshot back you're gonna have to fight us!" Kitty balled her fists. "All of us!" 

"I don't have to fight all of you," Spiral told him as she picked up a remote control and pushed a button. Suddenly a huge purple portal appeared. A huge wind blew around the living room, starting to pull everyone towards it. "Hang on kiddies! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"

As much as the X-Men and Misfits tried to hang on, they couldn't escape the pull of the portal's gravity. Soon everyone in the room was sucked into the portal, including Longshot, Shipwreck and the other adults. The portal shut just as Forge and Jamie ran in to check out the commotion with Lockheed.

"What happened here?" Jamie looked around. "Man what a mess!" 

"Hey where did everybody go?" Forge looked around. "Smell anything boy?"

Lockheed sniffed around but whimpered sadly. "Great! Just great!" Jamie threw up his hands. "We got left behind again! They must have all taken off someplace using the teleporter machine!" 

"So now what do we do?" Forge asked.

"We could have some fun in the Danger Room and eat all the ice cream when we're done," Jamie suggested. 

"Yeah okay," Forge shrugged as they went off.

************************************************************************

"Wakey, wakey! Rise and shine!" A cackling voice rang in their ears. 

"Ohhh…" Rogue groaned as she opened her eyes. "What the…?" She and all the others were encased in a huge glass cage. 

"Where the heck are we?" Kitty asked. 

"Where you are is the center of all universes!" Mojo appeared before them. "My world! Mojoworld! And you are all my very special guests! Can I get you a latte? A cappuchino perhaps? Maybe a diet soda? Forget that! I'm still waiting for mine!" 

"What do you want with us?" Xavier asked.

"What do I want? What do I want?" Mojo laughed. "Oh Charles that's a good one! Can I call you Charles? It's not about what I want at all! It's what they want!" He waved his hands and the lights grew even brighter. They were in a huge arena with dozens of giant TV screens. Millions of strange aliens and other twisted creatures that looked similar to Mojo filled the stands cheering. "Your adoring public! People who can't get enough of your exploits and adventures! The crazier the better! Especially after that little zoo episode!"

"You set us up didn't you!" Althea shouted. "I knew something was screwy about the whole thing!"

"Smart girl!" Mojo clicked and made a gun motion with his spiny fingers. "You got the bulls-eye! Yeah that was my idea. So were the kangaroos!" 

"But why?" Jean asked.

"Why? Why?" Mojo looked at her. "Well I didn't want to damage you too much so cheetahs were out. I almost used monkeys but I thought that was so overdone. I needed something new and original to…" 

"No I mean why would you do something like that?" Jean asked. "Do you realize how much damage you caused?"

"Oh please!" Mojo waved his hand. "Lighten up! Nobody important got seriously hurt and it was fun! It was what the public wanted to see! They love all that fun zany stuff you kids get into!"

"Yeah and it also ruined our reputations!" Hank told him.

"Oh please! Your 'reputations' as you call it were already mud amongst those stiffs long before that episode!" Mojo rolled his eyes. "Okay maybe I did set one or two things up to make things a little more exciting. But you guys did all the rest! All I did was merely capture it all on film!"

"And take all the profits for yourself," Longshot said.

"Quiet Blondie!" Longshot growled. "You are in so much trouble right now so you'd better keep your lip zipped!"

"So you're just gonna keep videotaping our lives?" Scott snapped. "You can't do that!"

"That's like a total invasion of our privacy!" Kitty stomped her foot.

"Somehow Kitty I don't think this guy cares," Lance told her.

"Bingo Rocky!" Mojo snickered. 

"What are you going to do to us?" Xavier asked.

"I should put you back," Mojo fingered one of his many chins. "On the other hand…it would be criminal to pass up a golden opportunity such as this!" 

"I don't like the sound of that," Xi said.

"I've always wanted to get back into show business but this is ridiculous," Fred grumbled.

"You're not going to do anything," Xavier put his hand to his head. "This exploitation of our powers is going to stop now!" 

"Don't bother," Mojo waved. "Your little brain washing powers don't work on me!"

"Yeah there's no brain," Longshot quipped.

"Yeah…WHAT?" Mojo shouted. "Why you little…You realize the only thing keeping you from being dog kibble is your marketability?" 

"How'd you like to be a fried slug?" Scott adjusted his glasses. As he shot an eye beam it was absorbed into the glass with a strange glow.

"Oh I forgot to mention," Mojo told him. "What you are in is a special Force field. You can use your powers all you want inside, but they can't do diddly outside! In other words, you're trapped!" 

"Oh yeah?" Kurt snapped as he tried to teleport out. But he ended up in exactly the same place. "I can't teleport out!"

"And I can't phase out!" Kitty said as she tried.

"My hex bolts don't have any effect!" Wanda said. 

"Hell-ooo! Force field!" Mojo tapped on the glass. "Keeps those pesky powers in! Now…what to do with all of you? Oh that's easy! Use you! Like I use everyone else in Mojoworld!" 

"Use us?" Amara asked.

"He means he's going to force you to be on his 'entertainment' shows," Longshot told her. "He'll make you fight for your lives all for that audience's entertainment. He'll make you work and fight until you're all used up or killed. And then discard what's left of you on the trash." 

"Well look at the bright side," Mojo told him. "You all get to be big stars!" 

"That's barbaric!" Hank snapped. 

"Violence is not entertainment!" Ororo shouted.

"Yeah right!" Mojo scoffed. "Where the hell have you been lady? That's what people wanna see! They want love and hate and explosions! Especially explosions! Ratings don't lie sweetheart! It's what the public wants! And what the public wants it gets! And right now they want all of you!" 

"Well forget it cause we ain't gonna play your game!" Rogue snapped.

"Wanna bet?" Mojo pressed a button and everything started to spin. "Can you say…Spin off?" 

They all disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Everything is ready sir," Major Domo told him. 

"It's show time!" Mojo cackled. 

**What will happen to the X-Men and the Misfits? What insanity has my warped imagination cooked up now? Stay tuned and push that nice little review button for more! **


	15. Showtime!

**Show Time!**

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Mojo shouted out to the cameras. "Boys and Girls…and everything else! It's time for another exciting block of Mojo Television! Here's some exciting previews of what's coming up! Our first show is that dark and brooding action adventure!" Mojo called out as the screen flickered. "Rogue and the Scarlet Witch in…The Vampire Hunters!" 

The screen showed the opening titles. Then there was a shot of Rogue and Wanda in a graveyard. "Well this is a cheery place," Wanda grumbled. "What the heck are these wooden stakes for?" She motioned to the objects they both held in their hands.

Something moved out of the shadows. "I think we're about to find out!" Rogue gulped. 

Suddenly something in black with fangs popped out of the shadows. The girls gave a gasp of fright. "Oh wait it's you," Rogue calmed down when she saw who it was. 

"Okay why does Remy have to wear these stupid teeth?" Remy popped the fake fangs out of his mouth. "And what's with the black cape here?" 

"Because you're the vampire love interest!" Mojo snapped over the intercom. "Do I have to explain everything around here? Oh well…" He pushed a button. 

Suddenly a dozen ghoulish creatures broke out of the graves. "Okay somebody please tell me that whatever these…things are…are fake," Wanda gulped.

"I don't think so," Rogue gulped. "But I just figured out what the stakes are for!" She attacked one with it. As she drove the stake into her heart it turned to dust. 

"Let's lock and load!" Remy pulled a card out and charged it up. He threw it at some ghouls and they turned to dust. "This is too easy!"

Then the two ghouls reformed into four ghouls. "You were saying?" Wanda snapped as she hexed one ghoul away. 

"Ah yes, nothing like a good old vampire flick on a rainy night," Mojo laughed. "Let's leave them to it shall we? On Channel 63 for all you sci-fi lovers out there," Mojo showed another screen. "Mutants in Space! The Adventures of the Starship Boobyprize!" 

It showed the inside of a spaceship. Xavier was in the captain's seat. Ororo, Sam, Hank, Roberto, Bobby and Amara were at consoles of the ship. "Professor! There's about a hundred spaceships out there!" Amara pointed out.

"Okay now would be a good time to find out where the phasers on this thing are," Hank looked around. He pushed a button, which sent out a laser that destroyed an enemy ship. "Ah here they are." 

"Something tells me we'd better high tail it out of here!" Sam said as the enemy ships started to fire on them. 

"Good idea! Make it so!" Xavier ordered.

"What?" Everyone looked at him. 

"Sorry," Xavier shrugged. "I heard that somewhere." 

"Thrilling stuff ain't it folks?" Mojo called out as he switched to another screen, leaving the Professor and the others in the middle of a space fight. "Next on Mojo channel number 45, laugh along with all the crazy antics of a deranged sailor and his loopy family in…Sailor in the House!" 

The next set looked like a typical family living room/kitchen area. Althea was on the sofa watching the television. "Toad have you fixed that antenna yet?" Althea called out. 

Just then Todd fell down outside covered in an antenna wire. "Not yet…" Todd said weakly. There was the sound of a laugh track.

"Will you stop hanging around?" Althea went over to help him get untangled. Another laugh track started. "We gotta get things shipshape before dad comes home."

"Since when do we have to clean this place?" Todd asked. "It's a dump." 

"You're right," Althea said. "Let's just play video games." Again another round of canned laughter. 

Shipwreck walked in through the front door. The sound of raucous applause filled the room. "Well here I am," He said. "Home sweet Hell." The laugher was even louder this time. "The king has returned to his castle!"

"Hey your majesty the throne's been overflowing again," Althea told him. More canned laugher followed. "How about you get off your royal butt and do something about it before I crown you!" More laugher followed. 

"Hey I am a very important man!" Shipwreck told her. "I'm tired after a hard day's work!" 

"You actually went to work today?" Todd raised his eyebrows.

"Actually I went to Vegas but that's besides the point," Shipwreck waved. More laughter. "Over there I'm known as a big spender!" 

"Yeah he's a man with big bills," Althea said. "All unpaid." The laughter started again. She looked around. "Okay where is that coming from?"

"God I hate this," Shipwreck groaned. "My life is weird enough before anybody made it into a sitcom!" 

"Well this isn't that bad," Todd shrugged. "At least nobody's shooting at us." 

All of the sudden two aliens barged through the door shooting lasers at them. The three of them screamed and ran away, dodging the lasers. 

"You just had to open your big mouth didn't you?" Althea snapped. The laugh track started again. "Will somebody please shut off that stupid laugh track?" 

"Yeah it's more annoying than the lasers!" Shipwreck shouted. 

"Coming soon, the hot new game show…SURVIVOR: MOJO STYLE!" Mojo showed another screen. "This weeks hot location…Jurassic Park!" It showed Scott, Tabitha, Ray, Pietro and Logan running for their lives from a pack of velocoraptors. 

"Where the heck did Mojo get these things?" Pietro yelled. 

"Back off Barney!" Tabitha blew her time bombs at them. But it only seemed to make them even madder.

"Oh great," Ray zapped them but it didn't seem to phase them. "Just our luck! These things are somehow immune to electricity!" 

"Yeah I'll bet Mojo had something to do with that!" Scott snapped. 

"When I get my claws on that fat tub of lard…" Logan growled. 

"Next is Everybody Loves Kitty!" Mojo shouted. "Where our contestants duke it out to see who will win the fair heart of our lovely lady, Kitty Pryde! It's the Bachelorette meets American Gladiator folks! Who will win?" 

Lance and Peter were duking it out with battle sticks while Kitty was watching them. She was dressed up like a princess. "I can't believe this," She groaned. "This pink outfit makes me look totally fat!" 

"Do you want a hot new show with fast cars and hot babes?" Mojo asked. "It's cool! It's edgy! It's mutants with a badge! Join Nightcrawler and Xi as they track down the bad guys and burn rubber in…Deathride!" 

Xi was driving a strange futuristic convertible while Nightcrawler was hanging on for dear life. "I didn't know you knew how to drive!" Kurt yelped nervously.

"I didn't know either," Xi said. "We have company." Behind them were two more futuristic vehicles. The occupants in them started to fire lasers at them. "Hang on!"

"Like I've got a choice?" Kurt gulped as Xi drove wildly. 

"I think Mojo has a rather perverse idea of what is entertaining," Xi said. "He reminds me of Cobra Commander." 

"Yeah well if this is supposed to be an edgy cop show, where are the hot babes?" Kurt asked.

"You definitely take after your father," Xi told him. "Hang on!" They flew over the highway with the cars right on their heels. 

"Coming up! The hot new reality show that will keep you glued to your seats!" Mojo shouted. "Who Wants To See Jean Get Eaten By Flying Alien Sharks with Lasers on Their Heads?" 

"AAGGGGHHHH!" Jean screamed as she was dodging the inter-dimensional beasts and their pesky lasers. 

"And the answer is…" Mojo waited a beat. "EVERYBODY!"

"YEOOWWWW! THAT HURT!" Jean wailed.

"Hey! I always said give the public what it wants," Mojo shrugged. "Next up! Freddy on the Farm! A feel good show where the Blob sings little songs and learns to share and valuable life lessons with his little animal friends! Hey the guy's practically indestructible so shooting lasers and stuff at him is a waste of time! Besides we need at least one G rated show for the kiddies to keep the censors off our backs!" 

The screen showed a colorful farm set. Fred had a farmer's hat on and he was standing next to a cute duck puppet. The puppet was holding some candy in his wings. "Hey boys and girls!" The puppet called out cheerfully. "Let's sing a song about sharing!"

"How about you sing and I eat the candy?" Fred reached over and grabbed at the candy.

"No! No Freddy! It's nice to share! Remember?" The puppet let out a strangled yelp.

"GIMME THAT CANDY OR I'LL KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF!" Fred shouted as he strangled the puppet. 

"Somebody help me! He's crushing my hand!" The alien puppeteer screamed. 

"I knew I should have stuck him on the wrestling circuit," Mojo muttered. "Last and certainly least, Longshot with his own talk show!" He pointed to Longshot on a stage with a dozen of angry aliens and monsters advancing on him. "Of course these guys would rather fight."

"Hey guys can we talk?" Longshot asked. 

"Yeah right!" Spiral snarled. She was leading the charge. 

"I swear it's always the same," Mojo snickered. "All the good stuff is on at the same time. That's what VCRs are for kids!" He pushed some buttons. "I think I'll watch some of the Shipwreck show! That's a real barrel of laughs! Popcorn!" Major Domo appeared with a large bowl. He stuffed it in his face as he watched. "Oh yeah this is quality entertainment!" 

"Okay I have had it with this!" Todd shouted as he hopped around dodging the lasers. "If we don't do something I'm gonna end up a Kentucky Fried Toad!" 

"You think of anything yet Pop?" Althea asked.

"I'm working on it!" Shipwreck dodged the lasers. "Where did these guys come from anyway?" 

"HOLD IT!" Althea shouted. The aliens stopped. "How did you guys get on the set?"

"Oh we have a pass key," One of them held it up. "It lets us get in and out through the hidden door in the force field."

"Hidden door?" Todd scratched his head. "What hidden door?"

"This one right here," The second alien pushed a remote and showed him. "Its really simple and…uh oh…" 

The second he turned around Shipwreck's fist connected with his face. "Owww…" Shipwreck winced as he waved his hand. "Whatever these things are they've got tough jaws!" 

"Oh no you don't!" Mojo snapped as he watched them escape. "Security! Get me security! Uh folks due to technical difficulties we'll now be switching over to The Vampire Hunters…." He turned it on and saw to his horror that all the vampires had been beaten up. "What the…? Man you just can't get any good vampires these days! Cue the werewolves!" 

Suddenly two giant wolf like beasts on two legs lunged at the trio. "This is really getting annoying!" Rogue growled. 

Just when the wolves were about to attack, the sound of a car's honking could be heard. That's when the car driven by Xi crashed in and knocked over the wolf creatures. 

"Anybody need a ride?" Kurt asked.

"How…?" Wanda blinked.

"Let's just say that this car is a lot tougher than it looks," Xi grinned. "Tough enough to drive through a wall. It seems that the force field which keeps us in does not extend to the walls that separates the sets." 

"Well let's find the others and get the heck outta here!" Rogue shouted as she hopped in. 

The car drove off with a squeal. One of the wolf creatures moaned. "My neck…whiplash!"

"HEY!" The other wolf creature raised his fist and shook it. "That was not in the script!" 

"Neither is that!" The other gulped. A huge starship crashed through the set. 

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" Mojo looked at the screen. "THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO FLY THROUGH THE SETS! WHERE THE HECK IS SECURITY WHEN YOU NEED THEM! HEY! WHERE ARE YOU?" 

"Down there sir," Major Domo pointed. "It appears they're being chased by dinosaurs." 

"Great!" Mojo snarled as he watched the carnage. "Just great! Don't tell me! Let me guess! The Delgatos let the Survivor group out of their set first! Am I right?"

"It appears so sir," Mojo told him. "Oh my that does look painful." 

"Well don't just stand there! Call security and a camera crew!" He snapped. "We could use some footage of the lizards eating up some of those bozos I'll call it 'When Animals Attack Episode 47!"

"Brilliant sir," Major Domo said. "The way you turn a tragedy into triumph." 

"It is isn't it!" Mojo sniffed. "Well as soon as security gets those other losers under control we're gonna make sure they don't get out! I've already called more guards and everything is under control." He turned around. "Or not…"

Standing behind him were Kitty, Peter and Lance looking very angry. Kitty had ditched the princess costume for her normal clothes. "Forget about us?" She asked.

"How did you…?" Mojo's jaw dropped. "The force field…it was…" 

"It didn't run under the floor," Kitty told him. 

"I told you to get the deluxe model sir," Major Domo told him.

"Oh shut up!" Mojo snapped. "You all think you're soooo tough! Well don't be too smug kiddies cause I have everything under control!"

"Oh really?" Jean stormed into the control room. Her hair looked frazzled and her clothes were singed.

"How did **you **get out?" Mojo yelled. 

"Those stupid things you sent after me exploded when I used my powers to throw them into the force field," Jean growled. 

"Okay, okay don't panic…" Mojo gulped. "Don't panic…So a couple of them got out? Big deal!"

Suddenly the spaceship crashed into the control room. Out of the craft came the entire X-Men and Misfit groups. "Okay so all of them got out!" Mojo was starting to panic. "GUARDS!" 

Immediately a dozen or so huge guards and Spiral entered through another door. "Get them!" Mojo ordered.

"Get 'em yourself pal!" One alien guard snapped. "We just came to tell you that as of now, we're on strike!" 

"WHAT? BUT…HOW?" Mojo shrieked.

"I'm afraid I had something to do with it," Longshot walked into the room. 

"Of all the stinking…but you were…" Mojo sputtered. "And they were…HOW?" 

"I merely convinced them that they were unappreciated and that they should be paid for what they do," Longshot shrugged. "As well as get a nice dental plan." 

"SPIRAL!" Mojo shouted.

"Forget it pal," Spiral walked away. "Call me when you decide to pay up! And don't go looking for your other guys to help you." She pointed to a group of enforcers lounging around drinking coffee, playing cards and reading the paper. "They've just formed their own branch of the Teamsters." 

"AGGGHHHHH!" Mojo shrieked. "WHY IS EVERYBODY TURNING AGAINST ME? WHY? WHY?" He took out a tissue and blew on it. "All I ever wanted to do is rule my own dimension and create tons of insane television shows and run up a huge profit while making my slaves do all the work so I could take all the credit! Is that so wrong?"

**_"YES!" _**Everyone shouted at him.

"Oh," Mojo said matter of factly. 

"Give it up Tubby!" Logan snarled. "It's over!" 

"Oh really? You all think you're so clever don't you?" Mojo sneered. "Well folks, old Mojo's still got a trick or two up his sleeve!" He pressed another button. 

Suddenly dozens of tiny glass orbs filtered out of an open hole. They floated above the heads of the X-Men and Misfits. Then they grew in size. Before they knew it the orbs sent out a strange light and each one of them were trapped in the now large glass balls.

"Cute isn't it?" Mojo snickered. "Think of it as a mutant version of a pokeball!" 

"I can't teleport out!" Kurt yelled. 

"Great we're stuck again!" Kitty banged on the sides of the glass. 

"So you thought you could escape Mojo didn't you kiddies?" Mojo cackled.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Shipwreck said. He and Longshot were also captured in separate balls. 

"Now the real fun begins!" Mojo laughed maniacally. 

**Oh no! Now what will happen to our heroes? What diabolical scheme is Mojo planning now? Stay tuned, you won't believe what madness is coming next! **


	16. Too Much of a Good Thing

**Too Much of a Good Thing**

"What are you gonna do to us?" Logan growled.

"What I should have done with Longshot here a long time ago!" Mojo snapped as he went up to a strange machine and pulled the lever. "Mr. One of a Kind ain't gonna be any more!" 

The container carrying Longshot then floated over to a strange machine. Suddenly the container opened just as several tentacles appeared. He was soon strapped down on a strange conveyer belt. The belt moved just as a strange ray passed over Longshot. Just as Longshot was being moved along out of the other end of the machine popped out a little boy. A little boy that looked exactly like a five-year-old version of Longshot. 

"Owie," Baby Longshot rubbed his backside. "I fell on my bottom!" 

"Aw! Ain't he cute folks?" Mojo cackled. "Now for the rest of 'em! X-men first!" Soon everyone else was also strapped to the conveyor belt. "And don't bother trying to use your powers to escape folks! Those shackles have inhibitor fields on them as well!" 

He pressed the button again. Soon all the X-Men were passing through the machine making miniature X-Men. "It's some kind of cockamamie copying machine!" Logan snapped. 

"Presenting…da ta da dah! THE X-BABIES!" Mojo shouted. Suddenly there were toddler versions of all the X-Men and Longshot behind him.

"I don't believe this…" Scott's jaw dropped.

"You mean you're gonna make kiddie versions of all of us?" Shipwreck 

"I'm not gonna make a copy of you," Mojo told him. "You're just the comedy relief! A dime a dozen! Expendable!"

"Why you barnacle brained…" Shipwreck strained against his restraints. "Then why am I tied up like this?" 

"Yeah like I'm gonna let you loose," Mojo snorted. 

"Mr. Mojo," Baby Jean said. "I wanna pony."

"Not now kid," Mojo waved. 

"I want a pony and I want it now!" Baby Jean screamed. 

"Hey if she gets a pony then I wanna pony!" Baby Rogue yelled.

"Uh uh only I get the pony because I'm the prettiest!" Baby Jean stuck out her tongue. 

"You are not the prettiest!" Baby Rogue snapped.

"Uh huh!" Baby Jean snapped.

"Nah huh!" Baby Rogue snapped.

"Uh huh!"

"Nah huh!" 

"Am too!"

"Are not!" 

"Am too infinity which mean's I'm the only one who should have a pony!" Baby Jean stuck her tongue out. 

"That's mean!" Baby Boom Boom snapped. "Why should you be the only one to get a pony!"

"Yeah!" All the babies yelled. 

"I'm a princess and I wanna pony too!" Baby Magma yelled.

"Well you can't have one!" Baby Jean snapped. 

"Hey you're not the boss of us!" Baby Rogue snapped.

"Yeah I am!" Baby Xavier shouted. He was in a tiny little hoverchair. "And I say ponies for everybody!" 

"Forget the stupid pony!" Baby Wolverine shouted. "I wanna racecar!"

"Yeah!" Baby Nightcrawler and Baby Cyclops shouted at the same time. 

"I wanna race car that can fly! Vroom! Vroom!" Baby Cyclops hopped up and down excitedly. 

"Me too!" Baby Gambit said.

"Yeah I changed my mind! I wanna race car now!" Baby Rogue said.

"I wanna race car pony that can fly!" Baby Beast chirped happily.

"No way! I'm the leader and I say we're getting ponies!" Baby Xavier snapped.

"Race cars!" Baby Wolverine glared at him.

"Ponies!" Baby Xavier shouted at him.

"Race cars!" 

"Ponies!" 

"Race cars!"

"PONIES!" Half the Baby X-Men shouted.

"RACE CARS!" The other half shouted back. 

"SHADDAP YOU LITTLE BRATS!" Mojo snapped. "Watch it!" He pointed his finger at them. 

"Watch it Jerk!" Baby Jean bit him on the finger.

"OWWWW!" Mojo yelled in pain. "Hey! Stop that!" The X-Babies were now fighting amongst themselves. 

"This is so totally weird…." Kitty blinked. 

"Hey cut it out! Knock it off!" Mojo shouted as he tried to stop the fight. Something splattered onto his face. He licked it off. "Applesauce? Who threw that?"

Baby Wolverine laughed wildly. "How'd you like them apples bub?" 

"Oh god this is humiliating…" Logan moaned. 

"Here guys!" Baby Kitty punched the buttons and the X-Men were freed.

"Hey what about us?" Althea snapped. "We're still trapped in here ya know!" 

"You're right!" Mojo cackled shoving Baby Shadowcat out of the way and pushing the cloning button again. Soon copies of the Misfits began to pop out of the machine.

"Oh no you don't!" Baby Cyclops snapped and fried him in the behind. 

"YEOOWWW!" Mojo screamed running around. "THAT HURTS!" 

Scott ran over and shut down the machine. The machine stopped just before it copied Lance. "Phew that was a close call," Scott grumbled. "The last thing the world needs is another Avalanche!"

"Hey!" Lance snapped.

"Come on," Althea motioned to the Misfits. "We gotta stop Mojo before things get worse!"

"Uh Al…" Fred pointed behind her. 

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Baby Wavedancer was running amok. Somehow she had grabbed some kind of mallet and was smashing everything in sight. "Hey Baby Storm! Make it rain!"

"Okay!" Baby Storm did so. She also made some lightning that fried Mojo's behind. 

"YEOWWWW!" Mojo shouted. "Cut that out will ya! And knock it off with the flood! You got water…everywhere…" He stopped screaming when he heard a familiar sound. 

"Wheeeeee!" Baby Wavedancer laughed gleefully as a tidal wave rose in the air. 

"Mother…" Mojo gulped just before it washed him into a wall. 

"Holy…" Althea's mouth opened wide as she saw her clone continue to wreak havok. "This is insane!"

"Tell me about it! You were bad enough the first time!" Shipwreck said.

"There is no way I was like this!" Althea snapped.

"Are you kidding?" Shipwreck snapped. "You think the Triplets were a fluke or something? They're just like you were when you were little…times three!" 

"Do do head!" Baby Quicksilver stuck out his tongue.

"You're a do do head!" Baby Nightcrawler made a face.

"You're all do do heads!" Baby Scarlet Witch snapped as she hexed them both. 

"Okay this just got worse," Kurt sighed as he saw the Baby Misfits run around starting fights with the X-Babies. 

"So what do we do?" Pietro asked.

"Anybody know where there's a 24 hour drug store that dispenses Ritalin?" Hank scratched his head. 

"Hey somebody get me down from here!" Lance shouted. He was still trapped in the clone machine. "I'm still stuck!" 

"What does this do?" Baby Toad wrapped his tongue around the lever of the clone machine as well as pushed a few buttons. The machine shuddered and came to life. "And what does that button do? And that button and that button…?" 

"Stop pressing those buttons you little…." Mojo shouted. "Oh no…" 

"I don't believe this!" Lance shouted. He finally managed to get loose of the machine, but it was too late. 

Suddenly there were twenty baby versions of Avalanche. "Oh man!" Kitty blinked. "Look at all of them!" 

"Oh god no…" Scott groaned. 

"Oopsie," Baby Toad fidgeted. 

"I've heard of too much of a good thing but this is ridiculous," Kitty said. 

At the sound of her voice every one of the Avalanche clones turned their heads towards her. "KITTY!" All the little Avalanches called out at the same time. They rushed towards her en masse. "KITTY! KITTY! KITTY!" 

"AAAAAHHHHHAAGGGGG!" Kitty screamed as she ran from the herd of Little Lances.

"COME BACK KITTY! WE LOVE YOU!" They all called out happily. 

"Scott…" Jean looked around in dazed confusion. "What do we do?" 

"I haven't a clue…" Scott gulped as he watched the madness. "Professor?" 

"I don't think **we** have to do anything else," Xavier grinned. "I think Mr. Mojo is getting exactly what he deserves!" 

"NO! STOP! PLEASE! STOP!" Mojo screamed as his entire world was literally falling apart. "NO! NOT THE LIGHTING SYSTEM! I JUST HAD THAT OVERHALLED! NOT THAT! DON'T TOUCH THAT BUTTON! GET AWAY FROM THOSE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS! NOOOOOOOO!" 

"What a mess," Fred whistled. 

"Well maybe we don't have him exactly right where we want him," Kurt pointed at all the Baby Avalanches chasing Kitty. 

"Will all of you stop it?" Kitty shouted over her shoulder. 

"Back off you little twerps!" Lance stood between her and them. "She's mine! Got it! Besides you got Baby Kitty over there!"

"Why should we get stuck with her when we can have the real thing?" One Avalanche clone complained. He was immediately struck in the head by the Baby Shadowcat clone. 

"YEAH WE WANT KITTY!" They all shouted. 

"NOBODY'S TAKING KITTY ANYWHERE!" Peter shouted. "ESPECIALLY YOU AVALANCHE!"

"Yeah you and what army pal?" One Little Avalanche snapped.

"Funny you should ask," Peter snapped his fingers. "I just took another trip through the clone machine." Suddenly there were twenty Baby Colossuses behind him. They all reverted to armor form. 

"What in the world….?" Lance gasped. 

"GET THEM MEN!" Peter shouted to his clones. 

"FOR KITTY!" The Colossus Baby Clones shouted as they charged.

"KITTY!" The Avalanche Baby Clones screamed as they charged. Soon both sides were tearing into each other. 

"Why the hell did you do that for?" Ray shouted.

"It wasn't a fair fight," Peter shrugged.

"Well neither is that!" Remy pointed out at the havoc the baby clones was making with their powers. The entire area was turning into rubble before their eyes. 

"Okay…this is way too weird," Tabitha looked around. "Even for us!" 

"And it's about to get even weirder!" Amara turned pale. "Look!" 

Shipwreck was fooling around with the clone machine. The next thing anyone knew there were dozens of short Shipwrecks. But they weren't kids. They were adults that had exaggerated cartoon faces. "Hey Mojo!" Shipwreck called out. "How about a little more 'comedy relief'?" 

"Oh god…" Ororo turned pale. "It's my worst nightmare!" 

"DAD WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE NOW?" Althea shouted. 

"Onward my army of Mini-Mes!" Shipwreck shouted, pointing to Mojo. "Get the enemy!" 

"Get 'em yourself!" One of the Mini Shipwrecks called out. He was making eyes at Ororo. "I'm too busy making time with this hot babe over here!"

"Hey! She's mine!" Another barged in.

"I saw her first!" Another shouted and punched the first one. Soon there was a brawl going on. 

"Hey cool explosions!" Another Mini Shipwreck called out.

"Why don't we blow some stuff up while those saps fight over the girl?" Another Mini Shipwreck asked.

"Good plan!" The first Mini Shipwreck grinned. "BANZAI!" 

"Well this was predictable," Althea grumbled as she saw the Mini Shipwrecks running amok. 

"Yeah it's a good thing Beach Head isn't here," Todd remarked. 

"Now will ya let us go Blubber Boy?" Logan called out. 

"Never! No way!" Mojo snapped. Then Baby Magma and Baby Boom Boom set his behind on fire. "YEOWWWWW! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" 

"Maybe we'll consider it if you allow us to leave," Xi grinned as he watched Baby Xi use a tripwire to make Mojo fall. 

"Zap! Zap!" Baby Cyclops was destroying Mojo's trophies. 

"NOT MY EMMY! NOOOOOOO!" Mojo screamed. "NOT THE GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS! NOT THE PEOPLES' CHOICE AWARDS! NOT MY PRODUCER OF THE YEAR AWARDS! STOP! STOP!"

"AIIIEEEEEE!" A pretty female alien was being chased by a horde of Shipwrecks. 

"NOT MY SECRETARY!" Mojo howled. 

"Oh Mister Mojo…" Baby Jean called out sweetly. She floated a very familiar statuette off the shelf.

"Oh no! Not that!" Mojo begged. "Anything but that! Those other awards are a dime a dozen but not that one! Anything but that one! Not my Oscar! Please! Have a heart! Anything but my Oscar!" 

"Should we?" Baby Jean asked Baby Wolverine. 

"NAHHHH!" He grinned and sliced it to pieces.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mojo sobbed. He scampered to the broken pieces. "Oh why! Why did you do that? He never did anything to you! Say something! Speak to me! Oscar speak to me! That's it! I can't take any more! You win! You win! No more X-Men show! I don't care how many ratings you get! Even they're not worth this!"

"So you'll let us go?" Kitty asked.

"ARE YOU NUTS? THIS IS THE GREATEST CATASTROPHE SINCE I CAME UP WITH THE SHOW 'COP ROCK'!" Mojo shouted. "GET OUT! GET OUT ALL OF YOU X-MEN AND MISFITS! I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU EVER AGAIN!" 

"Here's a dimensional porter," Major Domo handed Todd a strange gizmo. "It's quite simple, just press that button there and turn the dial there to get to the right dimension and it's done."

"Ha Ha!" One of the Mini Shipwrecks threw a pie in Mojo's face and scampered off laughing. 

"AND TAKE THAT SAILOR WITH YOU!" Mojo screamed. 

"I think it's time we all got out of here," Logan gulped.

"But what about them?" Kitty pointed to the fighting Baby Clones and Mini Shipwrecks. "We can't just leave them here!"

"Yes we can!" Amara said.

"Trust me it's what Mojo deserves," Longshot told them. 

"Well what are we waiting for?" Todd said. "Let's hop to it and get home! Hey Longshot, you heading back with us?" 

"Actually I think I'll stay here," Longshot grinned. "Something tells me Mojo is going to be a lot more willing to listen to contract negotiations." 

"You mean after all this you want to stay here?" Scott asked. 

"Why not?" Spiral told him. 

"We don't mind performing," Longshot told her. "We just want to do it of our own free will and get paid for it." 

"Not to mention some other perks like personal dressing rooms," Spiral counted them on her fingers. "Daily massages, unlimited cappuchino, free outfits…" 

"That's crazy!" Kurt gasped.

"Hey that's show business," Longshot shrugged. 

"Suit yourself," Logan said. "But if you ever want to crash at our place, you know how to find us."

"Hey!" Baby Wolverine puffed up next to him. "He don't need anyone's help but ours bub! Because we're the best there is at what we do!" 

"Just leave them behind will ya?" Logan groaned. 

"Will do," Longshot grinned. "Thanks a lot for your help!" 

"Help what help?" Baby Wolverine glared. "We did all the work! These lazy bums just lay around and did nothin'! Like I said we're the best there is at what we do and…" 

"Toad is that thing ready so we can get outta here?" Logan roared.

"In a second!" Todd remarked. Then he looked at Althea. "AL! PUT HIM DOWN!"  
"But he's so cute!" Althea was cuddling Baby Toad. "Couldn't we just take him along?"

**_"NO!" _**Everyone shouted.

"Okay, okay…" Althea sighed as she put him down. 

Baby Wavedancer grabbed Baby Toad. "Don't worry lady!" She chirped. "I'll take care of him. I'll hug him and squeeze him and cuddle him…" 

"Help me…" Baby Toad whimpered. 

"You think you have troubles?" Baby Cyclops whined as Baby Jean was mauling him. "Jeeaaaaan! Stop it!" 

A purple portal opened up. "Got it! Next stop home!" Todd whooped as they went into the portal. "I think…" 

"**YOU THINK?" **Everyone shouted as they went through. 


	17. You Never Know Who You'll Meet While Dim...

**Take three guesses which cartoons I got my inspiration from on this chapter! **

**You Never Know Who You'll Meet While Dimension Hopping**

"Man what a trip," Todd sighed as they exited the portal.

"Yeah it's good to be back at the mansion," Kurt agreed as the portal closed. "Maybe now things will be normal for a while!" 

"Hey is it me or does the mansion look a little…different?" Althea looked around.

"You're right," Scott looked around. "Didn't the sofa used to be over there?"

"Yeah…" Logan sniffed around. "It does look a bit odd. Wait a minute…This ain't our home!"

"You got that right bub! It's ours!" 

"What the…?" Logan turned around and saw something charge at him in a blaze of yellow. Instinctively he shot out his claws. And another pair of adamantium claws clashed with his. He glared into the eyes of a man dressed in a strange yellow costume that was styled exactly like his old one. "Who are you and why do you smell like me?" 

"I was gonna ask you the same question bub," The other man growled. 

"Hey back off pal!" Kitty snapped.

"You back off!" A Chinese girl with short black hair and wearing a yellow slicker burst in. Several multi-colored fireworks exploded from her hands. 

"Jubilee?" Amara shouted. 

"How do you know my…?" She started to ask and then she got a good look at the intruders. "Professor? Cyclops…Jean? What the heck?" 

"What's going on here?" A woman's voice shouted from the door. To everyone's shock in ran several people. They were adult versions of Scott, Jean, Rogue and Remy. To everyone's shock, there was also a Hank and Ororo as well. 

"Toad where the hell are we?" Logan asked as he backed away from his double. 

"Who are you?" The Adult Cyclops shouted, readying his visor. 

"They're…us!" The Adult Jean gasped. "But they're only children!" 

"Who are you calling a kid lady?" Tabitha sniffed. 

"What's going on?" Kurt asked. 

"That kid looks just like Nightcrawler!" The Adult Rogue gasped. She was wearing a green uniform and had long brown hair with the familiar white streak down the middle.

"I am Nightcrawler!" Kurt told her. 

"I think I can surmise where we are," Hank said. "We must have accidentally crossed into another alternate dimension."

"That does sound like a plausible theory," His Beast counterpart remarked. "Are all of you X-Men?"

"No, our group over here is called the Misfits," Althea pointed to her team. "And that's my dad." 

"Hello!" Shipwreck waved. 

"Wait a minute," The alternate Wolverine looked at them. "You saying that these people…are us?" 

"Sort of," Beast told him. "Actually they are variations of us."

"It's a fascinating subject really," Hank said. "Apparently in every dimension there are equal amounts of atoms. However they are rearranged in different ways. This results in…"

"That's enough!" Wolverine snapped. "One Beast rambling on that scientific hooey is more than enough!" 

"I agree," Logan growled. 

"Weird," Jubilee looked at them. "Two Wolverines?" 

"Well I know this sounds strange but I am Professor Charles Xavier," Xavier said. 

"Yeah…" Cyclops looked them over. "Okay I can guess who some of you people are but the rest of you…uh…" He looked at Scott. "Could you do the honors?"

"Uh sure," Scott looked. "Uh you know Jean…Rogue, Gambit…Storm and Beast…The rest are Magma, Boom Boom, Cannonball, Iceman, Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, Berzerker, Sunspot, Colossus and Wolverine."

"I figured that out from the claws," The Alternate Wolverine folded his arms. "But who are those jokers with you?"

"We're the Misfits," Althea told him. "We're a group of mutants that work for the army. I'm Wavedancer, that's Toad, Blob, Avalanche, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch and Xi and last but certainly least, my dad Shipwreck." 

"What? No Jubilee?" Jubilee asked. 

"Actually we did but she got pulled outta school by her parents," Rogue told her.

"She has parents?" Jubilee yelled. "I'm an orphan!" 

"School?" The Alternate Storm asked.

"I run a school for mutants, training young people in the use of their powers," Xavier told her. 

"So in your school, the X-Men are nearly all kids?" The Alternate Gambit asked. 

"That's right," Hank told him.

"But Wolverine's the same, different costume though," Jubilee said.

"Thank goodness for small favors," Wolverine humphed. 

Meanwhile several of the kids were laughing. "What's so funny?" Logan growled.

"You look so fetching in yellow," Pietro snickered. 

"Very funny," Logan growled.

"Sorry but you look so strange in yellow," Rogue giggled.

"You should talk," The Alternate Rogue looked at her. "You got enough makeup on?" 

"So are we like stuck here in X-Geek land or what?" Pietro tapped his foot impatiently.

"Charming isn't he?" Wolverine growled.

"Yeah a regular ball of sunshine," Logan shook his head. 

"It appears that this device needs some time to power up between dimension hopping," Hank looked over the instrument. 

"How much time?" Logan asked.

"Half an hour," Hank said. 

"So…I guess we might as well…have a nice visit or something," Scott shrugged.

"Yeah…" Cyclops blinked. "We could do that…" 

"Yeah it's kind of cool to meet some mutant kids my age for a change," Jubilee nodded. "Even cooler if some of them are you guys!" 

"I'll go make some coffee," Beast said.

"I'll join you," Hank said following him into the kitchen. 

"So…where am I?" Xavier asked as they all settled down.

"You…Professor X is on another planet right now," The Adult Jean said.

"I'm where?" Xavier blinked. 

"It's a long story," The Adult Cyclops sighed. "Basically you…he's recovering from an attempted assassination. He was just revealed as a mutant as well." 

"We've all been revealed as mutants," Xavier told them. "And the public didn't react very well when they found out that mutants existed." 

"So in your dimension mutants have just been revealed?" Jubilee asked. "And everybody knows that the Xavier Institute is a mutant school? That's gotta suck!" 

"Tell me about it," Tabitha sighed. "We're getting banned from school…what's left of it!"

"How many times do I keep having to say that was an accident?" Lance groaned. 

Soon they were all chatting away and talking with one another. "So if something called a Legacy Virus ever shows up in your world," The Alternate Beast told Hank. "All you have to do is inject it into your Wolverine and he'll develop an antibody for it."

"Well that's handy to know," Hank sighed. 

"They don't need to create viruses to wipe us out," Ray told them. "They've got soft drinks that can do that."

"What?" Jubilee asked. "You're kidding."

"No foolin'," Todd shook his head. "This thing called Power 8 makes mutants sick. Nearly did in Evan."

"Who's Evan?" The Alternate Storm asked. She wore a white and silver uniform. 

"Your…well our Storm's nephew," Kitty said. "Her sister's kid. He took off to stay with the Morlocks. Is he a mutant here too?" 

"I don't have a sister," Storm told her. "Or a nephew." 

"In other words Evan doesn't exist here," Pietro said. "This place is getting better and better!" 

"Apparently neither do I," Althea sighed as she folded her arms.

"One of you is more than enough," Jean said. 

"So do you go to Bayville High?" Tabitha asked Jubilee. "Or have mutants been banned there too?" 

"What's Bayville High?" Jubilee asked. 

"What's Bayville High?" Scott asked. "You mean you don't go to school there?"

"No I learn everything here," Jubilee said. 

"Bayville High? There is no Bayville High here," Adult Jean told them. "Well not in this town anyway."

"You mean that crappy school we went to doesn't exist here?" Fred asked. "Good!" 

"There are a lot of very interesting parallels here," Beast looked amused. 

"Yes I concur," Hank nodded. 

"Fascinating," Both of them said at the same time. 

"So lemmie get this straight," Alternate Gambit asked Remy. "You two used to work for Magneto?" 

"Da," Peter nodded. 

"Definitely not like the Colossus we know," Alternate Rogue shook her head. 

"Let's just say that Magneto gave me no choice," Peter growled. 

"And my foster mom Mystique was the principal for a while?" Alternate Rogue gasped. "And then a student?"

"You got it," Rogue growled. "But she's also my real mother."

"Say what?" Alternate Rogue gasped. 

Just then a familiar looking man in a red uniform walked in. "What's going on?"

"MAGNETO?" The Misfits and X-Men shouted. 

"Father?" Both Wanda and Pietro gasped. 

"Pietro? Wanda?" Magneto blinked as he saw the twins. "My worst nightmare come to life…" 

"What the hell is he doing here?" Logan growled.

"Hold on bub," Wolverine told him. "I know what you're thinking, but this Magneto…well. He's on our side now. Chuck has him running the place while he's recovering." 

"You mean he's running the school now?" Logan pointed. "You guys are doomed!" 

"Who are all these people?" Magneto asked. 

"Allow me to introduce our alternate reality counterparts," Beast told him. "I'm sure you recognize most of them."

"These are all X-Men?" Magneto blinked.

"No," Pietro growled. "Our group over here is called the Misfits. Most of used used to be part of your Brotherhood until you betrayed us!" 

"Easy Pietro," Althea put her hand on his shoulder. "This Magneto ain't the Magneto from our dimension. He didn't do those things to you." 

"Alternate Magneto or not I still wanna hurt him," Wanda growled. 

"Why do you hate me so much?" Magneto asked. "All I ever wanted to do was to help mutantkind!" 

"Gee how did you help us when your alternate self performed genetic experiments on us?" Todd snapped.

"Or abandon me in a mental institution?" Wanda snapped. 

"I did what?" Magneto said. 

"Not you," Shipwreck told him. "The alternate you. Our dimension's you." 

"I would never lock up any of my children or do any horrible experiments!" The Alternate Magneto shouted.

"Well then he's definitely not our Magneto," Lance sighed. "I guess your dad's not such a bad guy in this world Rogue." 

"Wait a minute!" Alternate Rogue snapped. "He is definitely not my father!"

"Well in our world he's mine," Rogue grumbled. 

"This is getting more surreal by the minute," Beast shook his head. 

"Okay how is that possible?" Pietro asked. 

"Well since we are dealing with both infinite probabilities and infinite possible arrangements of matter," Beast began. 

"The number of probabilities arranging from different timelines will induce multiple fractures and variances of…" Hank added. 

"Never mind!" Pietro groaned. "I'm sorry I asked!"

"In English guys!" Wolverine growled.

"It means anything is possible in any dimension," Hank said. 

"Oh," Fred nodded. "I knew that." 

"So in this dimension we're not related at all!" Wanda looked at Rogue.   
"Oh I'm really starting to love it here," Pietro grinned. 

"I can't believe that in another dimension I look like a vampire wanna be," Alternate Rogue groaned. 

"Hey I'm not exactly thrilled about the way you're dressed!" Rogue growled. "I mean could that uniform **be** any tighter?" 

"I'd be more respectful to my elders if I was you," Alternate Rogue snapped at her.

"And if I were you I'd get a new haircut!" Rogue snapped. "Not to mention some wrinkle cream!" 

"And if I were you…what am I saying? I am you! Which is a very frightening thought," Alternate Rogue groaned. 

"You wanna start something you old bat?" Rogue snapped.

"Bring it on sugah," Alternate Rogue growled making a fist.

"Now Chere…" Alternate Gambit got up to restrain his Rogue. 

"You don't want to fight," Remy got up to stop Rogue.

"THE HECK WE DON'T!" Both Rogues snarled and threw their respective boyfriends into the wall before they attacked each other. 

"Rogue! Rogues I mean…" Jean looked at them. She looked at her counterpart. "What do you do when your Rogue gets out of control? How do you calm her down?"

"Beats me," Alternate Jean winced as she watched. "We haven't figured that out."

"You too huh?" Jean sighed. 

"So your Rogue has super strength as well," Hank said to Beast as they watched the fight calmly while everyone else ran for their lives. 

"Apparently so," Beast nodded. "Ours got hers through by holding onto another mutant named Carol Danvers too long. Yours?"

"Genetic experiments performed by our Magneto," Hank told him. 

"Oh," Beast nodded. "Fascinating." 

"This is so totally weird," Jubilee blinked.

"Yeah usually we're the ones that end up trashing the mansion," Lance commented as he watched the fight. "Well there goes another wall." 

"How many more minutes do we have before the portal thingy is ready again?" Todd asked. 

"At least ten more minutes," Hank told him. 

"We may not have that long," Todd gulped. 

"I thought I was a brawler," Wolverine grunted. 

"Yeah our Stripes is pretty good at this," Logan commented. "Hey maybe after they're done you wanna go a couple rounds?"

"NO!" Alternate Cyclops snapped. "One pair of alternates trashing the place is enough!"

"Is your Cyclops as big a prick as mine?" Wolverine whispered to Logan.

"A bit," Logan shrugged. "Course he's just a teenager so I can boss him around all I like and there's nothing he can do about it." 

"Sweet," Wolverine grinned. 

"That's it!" Rogue took off her glove and grabbed the Alternate Rogue by the face. "The gloves come off! Wait…something's wrong! Hey nothing happened!" 

"Well duh!" Alternate Rogue snapped. "One, we have the same powers. And two…WE'RE THE SAME PERSON YOU LITTLE NITWIT!" She threw her off. "Of course our powers aren't gonna work on each other!" 

"This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'touch yourself' Pietro snickered.

Both Rogues glared at him. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Rogue growled.

"Yeah," Alternate Rogue nodded. "Let's get him." They both started chasing Pietro around the room.

"So let me get this straight," Magneto asked Xavier. "In your dimension not only did I do experiments on my own children and the Brotherhood, I abandoned them and let them run wild for a period of time?"

"That's basically it," Xavier winced as something else broke.

"No wonder everyone hates me in your dimension," Magneto groaned. 

"I think the portal is ready now," Hank opened it and Pietro ran right in it. 

Rogue followed him while Alternate Rogue stopped at the entrance. "And don't come back!" She shouted. 

"I think it's time we must be going," Xavier sighed. One by one the Misfits and X-Men went into the portal. 

"See ya around," Wolverine waved to Logan who was the last to leave. 

"Yeah and do me a favor," Logan asked his alternate. "Change your uniform will ya? Maybe something black?" 

"Black huh?" Wolverine looked at him. "Ya think so?" 

"Trust me," Logan waved. "See ya!" He disappeared into the portal, which closed after him.

"What a mess!" Alternate Rogue groaned as she looked around.

"Hey you're the one who made it," Gambit told her. 

"That was so weird," Jubilee giggled. "I mean I've pictured all of you as kids but still…"

"Very funny," Cyclops folded his arms.

"I hope we never see those maniacs again," Rogue grumbled.

"I liked them," Wolverine smiled. 

************************************************************************

The X-Men and Misfits ended up in another living room."Now where are we?" Kurt asked. 

"Well it looks like the right place," Scott looked around. "But…is it me or is this room…smaller?" 

"No it's just a different room," Rogue groaned. "Surprise, surprise, we got lost again!" 

"Why did we let **Toad** have the portal machine?" Logan groaned. 

"Oh like you could have done any better!" Todd snapped. 

Suddenly something teleported into the room with them. "Holy cow!" Todd pointed. It was a full-grown adult version of Kurt with short hair. 

"Mein Gott!" The Adult Nightcrawler gasped. "You look like me!"

"I think I am you," Kurt gulped. 

"Kurt what is…" Another Professor X flew in on a hoverchair. With him were Cyclops, Storm, Wolverine (In his old tan costume.) Colossus and a woman with short auburn hair. 

"What the flamin'?" The Alternate Wolverine looked at them. "They look and smell a lot like us! Well some of them do!" 

"Oh no," Kitty groaned. "We're in **another** alternate universe? How many of these things are there?" 

"Wow!" Shipwreck's eyes widened as he saw the Alternate Storm's skimpy outfit. "Hey Storm you should try wearing this outfit when we get back home!" 

"I apologize for this intrusion," Xavier sighed as he saw Ororo bonk Shipwreck on the head out of the corner of his eye. "We're trying to get back to our own dimension." 

"Dimension?" The woman with auburn hair asked.

"It's a long story," Althea said. "Who are you?" 

"This is Dazzler," The Alternate Professor X said. "She's also an X-Man." 

"Professor what's going…" A girl who looked exactly like Kitty walked in. Well almost exactly. Her hair was a lighter shade, curly and very poofy. 

"Kitty say hello to our guests," The Alternate Professor X said.

"Kitty?" Kitty blinked. "Like no way is that girl me!" 

"Two Shadowcats," Pietro snickered. "Lance must be in heaven!" 

"Shut up!" Lance took a swipe at him.

"My code name's Sprite!" Alternate Kitty snapped. 

"Sprite?" Kitty looked at her. "Talk about your lame code names!"

"Oh and I suppose you think Shadowcat is so cool!" Alternate Kitty glared at her. 

"Eww, like I look so weird with curly hair," Kitty made a face. "And it's so…poofy! Like something out of the eighties!" 

"At least I don't talk like a valley girl reject," Alternate Kitty crossed her arms. 

"You wanna start something girlfriend?" Kitty snapped.

"Bring it on!" Alternate Kitty snarled. 

"Here we go again," Kurt sighed as both Kittys got into a fistfight. 

"I'll go put the kettle on," Nightcrawler sighed. 


	18. Thank God It's Friday

**Warning: This chapter was written on an overdose of caffeine. I'm insane. I admit it. **

**Thank God It's Friday**

"Toad this time we'd better be in the right dimension!" Scott grumbled as they exited the portal. 

"I'm positive I got it right this time," Todd said. "See!" He pointed to the familiar living room. "I think we're back home!"

"Well it looks like our mansion…" Jean looked around. "But…"

"YEAAHHHOOOOOOO!" Forge ran in. He was wearing a cape and a mask. "Captain Proton away!"

"Die Captain Proton! So says the armies of Mutitron!" Jamie and six of his clones ran in. They were all dressed up in robot like outfits. "ZZZAP! ZZZAPP!"

"Agggh!" Forge clutched his chest and fell down. "Ya got me! Ya got me! You…" He looked up and saw the others looking at them with amusement. "Hello." 

"What's going on…Captain Proton?" Scott folded his arms.

"Hey you guys are back!" Jamie said as he absorbed his clones. 

"Yeah and not a moment too soon," Ororo walked into the kitchen. "What is this mess in here?"

"We got hungry and bored waiting for you guys so we had some fun," Jamie explained. 

"HOW DID ALL THIS ICE CREAM GET ONTO THE CEILING?" Ororo yelled. 

"The hallway is a mess!" Kitty shouted as she looked out. "What's with all the water?"

"Would you believe we were trying to improve the washing machine?" Forge gulped.

"I thought we were trying to teach Lockheed how to surf?" Jamie asked. Forge nudged him with his elbow, creating more clones. 

Lockheed however was having a grand time clawing one chair that looked slightly burnt. "Oh great!" Scott grumbled. "Lockheed burned another chair! Bad dragon! Bad dragon!" To this Lockheed merely shot out a small burst of flame towards him. 

"Yeah we're home all right," Logan sighed. 

"Where were you guys all day?" Forge asked.

"You mean we were only gone only a day?" Kitty gasped as she looked at the clock. "It seems like forever!"

"Maybe it's just as well," Xavier sighed. "If we were gone any longer we might not have had a mansion to come back to!" 

************************************************************************

"Don't we ever get a day off?" Tabitha grumbled. "I mean we've just kicked a whole lotta bad guy butt! Not to mention we just got back from our trip tiptoeing through the dimensions!" 

It was early Friday morning. The X-Men were all suited up for Danger Room exercises. 

"No chance of that happening," Rogue huffed. "Even though we spent half the night cleaning up and the other half squabbling with the Misfits!"

"I can't believe the Professor let Hawk talk them into staying here for not only the night but the entire weekend!" Remy groaned. "Now the babies are here as well as those crazy triplets!" 

"Yeah while most of their adults get to stay home," Bobby said. "Only Shipwreck and Roadblock are here. How much you wanna bet the others are partying?" 

"What really burns me is that while we're training they're taking the morning off!" Scott growled. "Guests or not that really annoys me." 

"Hey if you wanna wake 'em up and have them cause more chaos be my guest," Kitty folded her arms.

"On the other hand let 'em sleep in," Scott sighed. 

Logan held the roster. "All right, first up are the boys. You all get to run through some basic exercises first. You ladies follow me upstairs to watch 'em in the control booth."

"That way you femmes can see how it's done," Remy grinned.

"Oh brother," Rogue rolled her eyes. 

"Boys!" Amara rolled her eyes as well as they went upstairs. 

Jamie and Forge were upstairs in the control booth with them. "How come we don't get to be in a simulation?" Jamie whined. 

"Oh don't worry," Logan told them as he entered the control booth. "You will be. I've got some personal training programs just for the two of you. Help you boys work off all that extra energy."

"Wonderful," Forge groaned. 

"Okay let's get started here," Scott called out. 

"Yeah we are so ready for anything!" Bobby shouted. 

"You heard the man," Logan grinned.

"Initiating Danger Room Sequence number 34," Ororo pressed some buttons.

"34?" Jamie blinked. "But that's…" Again he was silenced by Forge's elbow. 

"All right men," Scott ordered. "Get ready!" The Danger Room shifted with its holographic projections. "What the…"

The entire room had been transformed into a huge green valley. Suddenly a dozen tiny white and brown hamsters popped out of the grass. _"Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy…" _They started singing and dancing around.

"How the hell do you get ready for this?" Remy asked. 

"Let me guess," Scott looked upwards. "Forge…you and Multiple were fooling around in here yesterday as well weren't you?"

"Uh yeah," Jamie gulped. "Oops." 

"Oh just let the stupid program run!" Bobby let out an exasperated groan. "It's nothing weirder than what we've just been through!" 

"It is a pretty cool program," Jamie told him. "What'cha gotta do is capture all the hamsters!" 

"Hamsters," Scott groaned. "We are going to fight singing hamsters now. This is not what I signed up for!" 

"Well let's look at it this way," Xavier sighed as he rubbed his head. "As X-Men we have to be prepared for anything. All kinds of elements of surprise…Yesterday was certainly a prime example of that!" 

"But hamsters?" Scott snapped. "Sorry but this is pretty stupid." 

"Actually it's very stupid," Remy huffed. "How hard can it be to fight these things?"

That's when the hamster's eyes started to glow. Before anyone could react they shot out lasers from their eyes. "YEEEOOOWCH!" Remy hopped up and down as one singed his foot. 

"Not just any hamsters," Jamie said proudly. "Hamsters with lasers! I thought of that!"

"It's inventive. I have to admit it," Logan watched. 

"Hey come on guys!" Kitty called out. "Show us girls how it's done!" 

"Very funny!" Scott snapped as he fried one hamster with an eye blast. It burst apart revealing its robot insides. 

"Yeah all we have to do is fry these things!" Ray snapped as he blasted a couple with an electric charge. "Those lasers are nothing."

"Yeah it's the stupid singing that's driving me nuts!" Sam groaned as he kicked another. 

"Well then you won't mind going to the next level huh?" Jamie called out. 

"How high does this simulation setting go?" Jean asked. 

"Twelve," Forge told her.

"Crank it up!" Rogue ordered. 

"Bring it on," Bobby snapped. "We can handle them!"

"Uh Iceman…" Sam gulped. Suddenly they were all surrounded by hundreds of hamsters. 

"When will I learn to keep my big mouth shut?" Bobby gulped. 

A few minutes later a loud boom could be heard. Todd had hopped down to the control room to see what was happening. "Hey what's going on yo?" He looked at the scene below. "Whoa! What happened?" He saw all the hamster parts everywhere. "Hamsters?" 

"Blame Forge and Multiple…" Sam staggered into the control room. 

"They're almost as sadistic as Wolverine," Kurt grumbled. "What are you doing up? Causing more trouble?" 

"Actually the others are making breakfast for ya," Todd remarked. "Sorry we kinda set the stove on fire a bit. Boy wait until I tell the guys about this!" 

"You would," Scott moaned. 

"Hey guys!" Todd called out. "Guess who just got beat up by hamsters!"

"That was kind of fun to watch wasn't it?" Rogue snickered. 

"Don't feel too bad," Jamie whispered to Sam and the other boys. "Wait until you see what we got cooked up for the girls! Let's just say they'll never see unicorns in the same way again!" 

"I hate this week…" Scott groaned. "I really hate this week!" 


	19. Chaos in the Classroom

**Chaos in the Classroom**

After a typical breakfast, (Which of course involved food fights, broken dishes, and few more holes in the wall) both the X-Men and the Misfits prepared for class. "Oh great, we all get to have class with the X-Geeks," Fred muttered. 

"It's just for one day," Wanda told him.

"It's still too long," Pietro told her. 

"So what class are we going to have?" Todd asked. 

"According to our schedule it's Home Ec," Jean told him.

"Oh no!" Pietro wailed. "That mean's Jean and Kitty are cooking! I'm too young to die! I haven't made my will yet! There's so much to do! So many places to see!" 

"So many people to annoy," Lance smirked.

"That too," Pietro grinned. He successfully dodged Kitty's swipe. "Too slow!" 

"Oh yeah?" Jean said as she telekinetically lifted him up. 

"Hey no fair!" Pietro snapped. Jean smirked and lightly shoved him against the wall with her powers. 

"Put him down Jean, don't be mean," Roadblock sighed as he saw them. "Today your lives we are going to enrichen, so let's all head to the kitchen." 

"Is there such a word as 'enrichen'?" Todd asked. 

"Hey it's not easy finding the perfect rhyme all the time," Roadblock told him. 

"Well today is going to be a fun day," Hank told them as they walked in. "Roadblock and I are going to teach you some recipes for cookies! Considering how yesterday went you kids could use a little fun and do something that doesn't involve explosives." 

"You obviously have never tried to eat Kitty's cookies," Ray snickered. 

"You're gonna eat my fist if you don't quit it!" Kitty snapped. 

"All right settle down," Hank sighed. "Now you will all break into small groups of two or three."

"Okay I call dibs on Kitty!" Lance raised his hand. 

"No way!" Peter snapped. "I'm going with Kitty!"

"Wanna bet?" Lance growled.

"Why don't both of you go with Kitty?" Althea groaned.

"Are you crazy?" Scott snapped. "They'll spend the entire time fighting."

"Exactly," Todd said. "That way Kitty won't be able to cook."

"Oh yeah," Scott said. "Good plan." 

"My cooking is not that bad!" Kitty snapped.

"Yes it is!" Pietro said. 

"Jean could you throw Pietro into the wall again?" Kitty snapped. 

"Well Kitty you could use some improvement in your cooking," Jean said.

"Oh look who's talking!" Kitty snapped.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jean snapped. 

"Refresh my memory Jean," Kitty said. "Who was it last week that burned the salad?"

"That was an accident and you know it!" Jean snapped. "At least my muffins don't bounce or make cracks in the floor!"

"Since when have you even made anything that remotely resembles a muffin?" Kitty snapped. "Oh I know…NEVER!" 

"All right break it up!" Roadblock shouted. "Just get into teams before I scream!" 

"Do we even have enough room to make all these cookies?" Rogue asked.

"We do have two ovens," Hank told her. "We'll take turns. Okay let's do this thing! Uh Kitty how about I give you a hand?" 

"Yeah and I can help Jean," Roadblock groaned. 

"What they need is a miracle," Todd snickered.

"Oh yeah like you can do better!" Jean put her hands on her hips.

"As a matter of fact I can!" Todd puffed up. "Roadblock's been teaching me to cook as well as Freddy!" 

"The Blob can cook?" Bobby asked. 

"Yeah smart guy the Blob can cook," Fred folded his arms. "Who do you think used to make most of the meals at the Brotherhood house huh?" 

"That's a surprise," Kitty remarked.

"Not really if you think about it," Tabitha smirked. 

"Okay let's break up and get into your stations before I need a vacation!" Roadblock sighed. 

Soon several teams had broken up and were working on their own cookie recipes. Except of course for the group with Kitty, Peter and Lance. They ended up arguing and having a huge flour fight. "You're doing it wrong!" Peter threw flour at Lance.

"No you're doing it wrong!" Lance threw flour back.

"Well the two of you are screwing this whole recipe up!" Kitty threw some flour at them. "Oops!" Some of it had landed on Hank. He looked more like the Abominable Snowman than his blue furry self. 

Hank finally had it with the lot of them. "THAT'S IT! TO THE DANGER ROOM! ALL OF YOU!"

"We can't," Peter said. "It's still being reprogrammed remember?"

"Oh yes," Hank closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I forgot. Remind me to thank you later Forge and Multiple. Okay then go outside and…do something. Something constructive." 

"Like what?" Lance asked.

"Anything! I don't care what you do just as long as you don't destroy anything!" Hank shouted. 

"Geeze what's his problem?" Lance asked as the three of them left.

"I think he's been under a lot of stress lately," Peter said. 

"He should really learn to relax more," Kitty said. 

"Why didn't you sentence them to clean up the kitchen when we finish?" Roadblock asked.

"Because I wanted the kitchen to remain in one piece," Hank sighed. "Okay how are we all doing?" 

"We're trying to decide what to put on top of our cookies," Wanda said. "I want to put crushed candy mints on top but my idiot brother wants to put on breath mints!"

"It isn't stupid," Pietro snapped. "These breath mints I found taste good! Better than dumb old ordinary candy mints!"

"Candy mints are better! Roadblock will you tell him that candy mints are better?" Wanda asked. 

"Breath mint!" Pietro snapped.

"Candy mint!" Wanda snapped back. 

"Breath mint!" 

"Candy mint!"

"Breath mint!"

"Candy mint!" 

"I've heard this argument before. I know I have," Roadblock shook his head. "I think I'll take aspirin on mine!" 

Then there was an explosion. "What the?" He saw Hank flat on his back on the floor, his fur singed. There was a medium sized stove fire. 

"It's okay!" Bobby iced the stove. "I got the fire out!" 

"Terrific now we only have one stove to work with!" Amara groaned. "Great idea Tabby!"

"Well it was at the time," Tabitha shrugged. "I really thought my time bombs would help them cook faster." 

"Well it didn't!" Scott snapped as he helped Hank sit up. "You okay Mr. McCoy?" 

"Ow…" Hank moaned. "Ow…" 

"This is really not our day," Roadblock groaned. "Something tells me that baking cookies isn't your forte!" 

"Hey at least me and Al got our batch done!" Todd showed him. They were slightly burnt. "Oh yeah and Jean got hers done too. But we all know that she can't cook so unless you want indigestion…"

"Well at least mine aren't burnt!" Jean said angrily. 

"How much you wanna bet my cookies are better than yours?" Todd snapped.

"You're on!" Jean snapped. 

"This is a bad idea," Scott gulped.

"How about we use Pietro and Kurt as judges so it'll be fair?" Althea asked. 

"This is a very bad idea!" Kurt moaned. 

"What are you trying to do? Poison us?" Pietro snapped. 

"Just eat it!" Jean gave him one of her cookies and she gave one to Kurt.

"Do we really have to?" Kurt whined. "Can't we talk about this instead?"

"Oh god I'm gonna die," Pietro groaned as he bit into the cookie. "Oh god this is awful!" He spat it out. "What did you put in this? Ammonia?" 

"Obviously there's only one opinion I can trust," Jean looked at Kurt. "Come on Kurt have a taste." 

"Yeah go on Kurt," Scott said. "Try it."

"Why don't you try it?" Kurt said. "She's your girlfriend!"

"Okay Scott you can have one too," Jean gave a cookie to Scott.

"Thanks a lot Kurt," Scott grumbled as he looked at it. He bit into it.

"Well?" Jean asked.

"It's not ammonia," Scott gulped. "I don't know what it is, but it's definitely not ammonia. Excuse me," He put his hand over his mouth and ran out of the room. 

"SCOTT SUMMERS GET BACK HERE!" Jean stomped her foot.

"Oops I dropped mine," Kurt let the cookie slip through his fingers. 

"Then take mine," Todd slipped one into his hand.

"I can't win," Kurt moaned. He took a bite and blinked. "Hey…this isn't that bad!"

"Told ya," Todd said with a smug look on his face.

"Really?" Pietro took one. "Let me try. Hey these are better! At least they taste like cookies and…you didn't put slime in this did you?"

"No I didn't!" Todd told him. 

"Well then these are okay," Pietro said. 

"Okay this I have to see for myself," Tabitha took one. "Hey these are pretty good!" Several other X-Men took one, much to Jean's chagrin. 

"There is no way on Earth that Toad's cooking is better than mine!" Jean snapped.

"I hate to say it Jean but it is," Kurt shook his head. "As much as I hate the Toad…I like his cooking better than yours." 

"Yeah at least with him you know it won't be poison," Remy remarked. 

"STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT MY COOKING!" Jean shouted. She started to throw cookies at them. 

"Hey! Ain't using cookies as weapons against the Geneva Convention or something?" Todd remarked.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Fred called out. The kids started to throw food all over the place. 

"CUT IT OUT!" Hank screamed and everyone stopped. 

"I take it the cooking lesson isn't going as planned," Xavier said as he wheeled in. Logan, Kitty, Lance and Peter were with him. 

"That's the understatement of the year," Roadblock sighed. He motioned to the kids. "What are they doing back here?" 

"Oh god what did they do now?" Hank moaned. 

"It's not that," Logan waved his hand. "It's something else." 

"We have a problem," Xavier frowned. "Magneto's on the move again." 

**Coming soon, the exciting conclusion of this fic! As soon as I figure out what it is…**


	20. Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting

**Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting**

"How do I get into these messes?" Kitty muttered as she dodged a burst of flame. "Oh right, I'm an X-Man."

"Being a Misfit isn't exactly a bed of roses either!" Lance snapped as he dodged another burst of flame. 

"Ha Ha Ha!" Pyro laughed maniacally. "Take that traitors!"

"**He's **calling **us** traitors?" Fred grumbled as he stepped back from the flame. 

They were in a huge military compound somewhere in Spain. They had used the Misfit's teleportation device and Cerebro to track down Magneto. They found themselves walking into an ambush. Pyro along with several of Magneto's henchmen were battling both the X-Men and Misfit teams. Only the main X-Men were present however. Scott, Jean, Kitty, Kurt, Remy and Rogue were fighting along with Ororo and Logan. Roadblock was laying down cover fire trying to protect Xavier. 

"I knew we should have brought the others," Althea grumbled. She then noticed some water pouring out of a nearby drain. "All right!" 

"I think I can get a clear shot at Pyro!" Scott readied his visor.

"Hey! Cyclops! Jean! Get outta the way!" Althea shouted. 

"What?" Scott turned around and saw the water rushing at them. Jean barely had time to levitate them out of the way of the water. "Watch it Wavedancer!" 

"AGGGGHH!" Pyro screamed as the water washed him away. 

"Hey I told you to get out of the way!" Althea shouted. 

Meanwhile Lance was currently battling Cortez in a punching war. Both were evenly matched when suddenly an eyeblast separated them. "What are you trying to do Summers? Fry me?" Lance snapped. "I was handling him!" 

"Yeah well why don't you try laying down those tremors where it will do some good?" Scott pointed to a group of Acolytes fighting.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Lance snapped.

"Yeah that's my job!" Wavedancer snapped. "Avalanche just do it!" 

Meanwhile Kitty was trying to fight off a wolf like mutant that wielded a sword. She was barely phasing in time of his swings when suddenly he was knocked back wards. He grunted and held his stomach as if something had hit him. As he fell down Xi revealed himself. 

"I didn't need your help!" Kitty snapped.

"It didn't look it to me," Xi said. 

The ground rumbled. "Watch it with those tremors Avalanche!" Scott snapped. 

"Why don't you watch it with your attitude and butt out of my fights!" Lance snapped. 

"Will you kids stop fighting each other and start fighting Magneto's guys!" Logan growled as he tussled with Sabertooth. 

Suddenly huge metal beams pinned most of the X-Men and the Misfits to the ground. Rogue and Fred managed to break out and were trying to get the others loose. Xavier was the only adult not pinned down but he found he couldn't move his wheelchair. "I was wondering when you would show up Magneto," Xavier said. 

"Pathetic," Magneto loomed over them. With a wave of his hand he motioned for his henchmen to back away. 

"Magneto why are you doing this?" Xavier asked.

"I would have thought it was obvious even for you Charles," Magneto said. "Our last few encounters have depleted my resources. Thanks to all of you, I have been forced to regroup and rebuild yet again." 

"Oh ain't that a shame," Fred mocked as he finished freeing the Misfits. 

"Well don't get too involved with your plans," Lance growled. "Because you may not live long enough to carry them out! I am looking for some serious payback after what you did to me!"

"Take a number!" Wanda snarled. 

"I am doing this in order to insure our race survives and claims it's rightful position on Earth," Magneto said. "That is all I have ever fought for. To improve the lives of mutants." 

"That's a load of bull!" Lance growled. "You're no better than a common terrorist! You lied and manipulated us and when we weren't good enough for you, you threw us away!" 

"Yeah for somebody who feels so strongly that mutants are people you sure don't treat 'em like it!" Todd snarled. 

"I do not expect people such as yourselves to understand the grand scheme of things," Magneto said coldly. "You however Quicksilver I expected more from." 

"Oh I understand," Pietro glared at him. "I understand that your quest for power has driven you completely bonkers! I can't live with your lies and the way you treat me anymore!"

"You may not live at all if you continue to defy Magneto!" Cortez snarled. 

"Enough Cortez," Magneto waved. "We have what we came for. Further fighting is pointless."

"Wanna bet?" Lance growled as he sent a huge wave of earth at him. 

Magneto barely managed to float out of the way. He sent some barbed wire straight towards Lance. Luckily Fred blocked the path and Scott blasted some of it. "Invulnerable skin or not that still stings," Fred hissed. 

"We will meet again Charles," Magneto spoke. "And next time circumstances may not be as favorable to you." With a motion of his hand he signaled one of his Acolytes to teleport half the group away. The rest escaped in the metal spheres they normally traveled in. 

"Well there he goes," Todd grumbled.

"What were you thinking Avalanche pulling a stunt like that?" Scott snapped.

"I was trying to get Magneto!" Lance snapped back.

"Yeah well you nearly got killed," Jean told him.

"Hey at least he tried to do something to get him," Fred snapped. "Which is more than what you guys did!" 

"That's enough," Ororo said. "Blaming each other right now isn't going to solve anything."

"What the lady said is right," Roadblock said. "We better prepare for another fight." 

"Come on let's get out of here," Logan said. "Before the authorities come back." 

************************************************************************

"Well once again the Misfits screw everything up!" Scott groaned as they returned home. They walked down the hallway. 

"Wait a minute!" Lance snapped. "US? You were the ones in the way!" 

"Taking care of Magneto is the X-Men's problem," Scott said.

"Yeah well we got a beef with Magneto so we're his problem!" Lance told him. 

"That's no excuse! You have no right to butt in to our business!" Scott snapped. 

"Hello? We work for the government!" Todd held up his hand. "Of course we have the right!" 

"Yeah!" Fred said. 

"Oh please you guys are a secret group attached to another secret government agency," Bobby groaned. "That's not exactly the same thing!"

"Yeah well it's a lot closer than you guys are!" Lance told him. "Hey technically doesn't that make you vigilantes or something?" 

"Look the X-Men were founded to protect mutants," Scott got in his face. "There aren't exactly too many people out there willing to help us! Especially in the government!" 

"Now who's making excuses?" Lance snapped. 

"Here we go again," Kurt sighed. "Where's the adults when you need them?"

"They're in the war room," Xi said. "They said they were planning. Personally I think they're just trying to hide from us." 

"There they go again," Althea sighed as Lance and Scott started shoving each other around. "Does anybody want to do something about it?" 

"Leave them!" Jean moaned. "Just let them fight!" They left the two of them to duke it out in the hall. 

"Yeah I'm not really in the mood to break them up again," Kitty waved as they went into the living room. "I'm so tired I don't even remember what day it is!" 

"Well it's Saturday," Kurt groaned as he fell into a chair. "What a week!" 

"Tell me about it! I've only been seventeen a week and I already feel like I'm at least thirty years older," Rogue groaned. 

Some of the other X-Men were there. "So how did it go?" Jamie asked.

"How do you think it went?" Rogue grumbled. "We got our butts kicked!" 

"I wouldn't go that far," Pietro frowned. "We did stomp most of them, despite your 'help'." 

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Rogue snapped. 

"Guys Lance and Summers are already fighting about this yo," Todd groaned. He heard something expensive break. Todd casually looked out into the hall. "You know you'd think Xavier would learn not to keep expensive things in the house by now." 

"Hey Kitty, phone call," Bobby handed her a cell phone. "It's your mom." 

"Hi Mom," Kitty answered the phone. "How are you? How was my week?" Her face turned a shade paler. "You want to know what's new?" 

The house started to shake. "ALVERS!" Scott shouted. 

"Oh nothing much," Kitty said as evenly as possible. "Actually, this week was kinda quiet." 


End file.
